Give me the jerks e-mail, I'll read him the riot act & tell him to cut you some slack !!! or he'll have me to deal with.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
cookie, perhaps you could develop a 'template' letter for jerks, wise WAW's could fill-in-the-blanks and get on with the business of healing. lol Goldey
He just returned my email--D12 needs to learn that there are consequences for being late no matter what the "excuse." We can blame it on the weather or on my "present situation," but she's still late.
How about--she's already dealing with consequences beyond her control; what she's learning is that her principal hates her (she believes this) and that she has about as little support from her community as her mother does. She's only been at this school since she was 4. She's being singled out because of me. Some kids can do no wrong; others can do no right.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
One thing I have learned is you have to stand up for your child. My D16 went through a period of bullying in elementary school. My H and I on various periods had to deal with pathetic principals and parents who wouldn't believe their little angels would do such a thing. Huh!!! But, D16 was looking to us to stand up and say "no way are you going to treat my child like this." How about saying, "I'm sorry, but my D12 will not be attending this punishment."
Of course, this is just my way of doing things, and you know your sitch and the consequences to acting in such a fashion. But, it makes my blood boil when a child is being unfairly treated.
((((hugs)))))
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Yes, D12 is bullied, called a nerd, excluded. She is never in trouble except for this stuff. Always tries hard, participates in class, does service-related things. But the principal has chosen to crack down on tardiness, not meanness, bullying, unkindness. And this morning she was 2 minutes late--not 15 or 20.
If I say she won't be attending this punishment, they'll just give her an out-of-school suspension.
I kinda have the feeling at this point that I will not be able to remain connected to the parish where I used to work. D12 attends the school there. She would probably be treated more compassionately at a public school.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
D12 attends the school there. She would probably be treated more compassionately at a public school.
This might be your best option. Not that there isn't meanness and such in public schools, but you, as a taxpayer, would have more say as to how it should be dealt with. Maybe, all ties should be cut from your previous life (esp. that with your parish) before you can heal and get on with your life? Just a thought.
Just know (and I speak from experience) you only have a small window of opportunity for your D12 to see you standing up for her and saying, "no, you will not do this to mine." (It would be better if your H did it, but you doing it is also something that will strengthen her esteem.) They remember these things. I have four, and you will be astonished at what they remember and what they conveniently forget.
Take care, and give it a lot of thought.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Cutting all ties--it's worth a thought. Getting on with my life--that would be good. I have no idea where to start; I feel as if I'm waiting for something. An idea, a contact, a reason.
That would pretty much empty out my life. No family except for D12, no more friends, no community, nothing to belong to or connect with. Could that be a positive? The folks at this parish (not the staff) were like family to me. A handful of people--4 or 5--caused all the problems for me; that leaves a thousand or so who are pretty great folks and who have been praying for me.
Anyone else have thoughts on cutting ties?
If I push this discipline issue, it will very soon come to an ultimatum. I don't know that it's wise to put D through all that, although being unfairly disciplined and made to feel excluded isn't good either. The whole idea of "we're doing this for her own good" reminds me of H telling me that his leaving was ultimately the best thing for me, and OW saying that in "supporting" H she was also supporting D and I. Is everyone crazy, or do they just think I'm completely stupid?
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
I hate when people go all power happy just because they can. Let's not use common sense & focus on big problems, & trouble making kids. Let's be an idiot & focus on 2 minutes late just to make a statement. Grrrr !!!
How bout telling D that it's not fair or right. But, in this life, we have to follow the rules, even the stupid idiotic made up ones.
Hugs (sheesh as if you don't have enough on your plate)
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
