Matilda, My challenge now is to keep my balance, and maintain my efforts and not fall back into old patterns. My W gets so emotional, that she loses her head, and capacity to problem-solve. She loses hope that things can get better. She becomes a broken record that won't stop.
My reaction is to want to escape physically and emotionally. I have doubts about my commitment to the marriage, when I'm frustrated. I judge her in my mind, and want her to go away. I want to break this pattern.
I went to the bookstore yesterday to find a religious self-help book, and found one by Pema Chodron, a Buddhist nun who talks about cultivating compassion amongst life's difficulties. It's just what I need to practice dealing with my W's emotions and poor choice of words when she's frustrated.
My W is right that my listening and empathy skills need some work. I lose those skills when I'm frustrated, and create distance in the M. I need to work on being able to move into conflict, without judging my W, and taking things personally.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
