I have read it this morning. Very enlightening as it seems very similar to me. The OM situation in mine has not changed, unfortunately, so I don't think and reconnect or even feelings of reconnect are present. I do believe in the testing part. As I had posted to you earlier on. I believe it is testing me to see if I can forgive. Knowing that I could and I am slowly getting my emotionas more in check are helping me stay calm. Holding my cross in my hands when I am upset and aksing what can I do, what do you need me to do does calm me.
FaithfulH words are very strong and very good for me. I d love her unconditionally, and again, this is my problem. Becasue it is difficult to love when it is not being returned, visibly. There is no doubt about her MLC, which i learned early on, and there is no doubt that at some point in time she will realize everything she is doing and has done for the reality that it is. She has seen me on a few occassions now for who I am, and how I have changed. I have shined. And yes the road seems to be getting harder for me, appearance wise. Taking your input and FithfulH's, I now know that it is just appearing to be more difficult becuase the Other one is plotting harder against me. It hurts, I won't lie. But I have my belief now and I think that is why hte pain is so hard. God is keeping me to Him, showing me what must be done and the other one is pounding me with negativity. I just wish this was over. I just wish she would wake up and realize all that I have seen.
