Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

[phbear316]

Journal

Sometimes I just cannot understand my stbex. To make a long and painful story short sat afternoon I had to put our cat down. I had to call stbex to the vet to say goodbye to her.

He came we cried, and cried and said our goodbyes to our angel. Well what has me so confused is his reactions to all this. He texed me most of the night, talking about how hard it is to lose her,he called me and had me on the phone for almost 2 hrs talking about her. Sunday he has been calling and texting. HE even sent one text was a hug. texting me good night etc.

I know he is having a hard time dealing with her loss, and so am I. I sent him one text and I did tell him I don't want to sound like a bitch but, I have lost many things this year you, our marriage my home, and now losing the cat, has made me question how much more I can take. I just kept getting texts back from him I'm so sorry.

My emotions are really of anger and pain. You are showing emotions you never showed when you decided to destroy our marriage. You were cold a callous, mean, nasty,etc.
This is the soft and truly caring side that i loved about my ex.

I wonder if he is really wrapping his arms around what he has done and what it has done to me.

Oh and get this as we are sitting in my truck for a few minutes after we walked out of the vets office. He has to biggest set of brass ones to say to me, deb(ow) says she is sorry for your loss....ok wtf did you just say???

ANd that night I had tickets to see TSO and I reluctantly went to the show, he called me to talk and in the conversation he tells me he went to debs house to play with the kids to get his mind off of the cats death. I wanted to say, I'm so glad you have someone and kids to play with and take your mind off of this. I have no one. no kids to play with no dogs no boyfriend.

I guess you would call this the anger stage. Its hard for me to keep biting my lip.

hugs
bear