When will the test be over?

[Mojones]

To catch you up....H started his affair up (I now know for the second time) with OW in December of last year. At the same time he bought a 2 seater Mercedes convertible that he could not really afford without asking me. D day was in February. He moved out for 3 months and then came home. Since he has been here he has been luke warm.

In September I noticed he was getting calls from a girl at work asking him to go out. I told him to accept and bring me along if it was important to him he said "no because you are doing it to watch me I can't be myself." It always comes back to me just being a jelous person...soon after this discovery H called me and said he was sick of his manager and a co worker and he wanted to quit...I know that he would have whether I supported him or not just like buying the car..but I told him that I would carry our household for a little while if he was that unhappy but I WOULD NOT pay even one penny for the Mercedes. Part of me was glad that he would not be around the girl any more. He quit and started applying for other jobs. He has gotten hired for 2 and found some reason for not going in to them. He mentioned going to work in the town where OW lives (45 minutes away) and I said I cannot handle that right now. Is that wrong? Should I let him do what he needs to do regardless of where it is?

He was going to start doing side work in town and agreed to approach some employers. I asked him how it went and he said that he didn't go because he didn't have business cards. I made him business cards last week and he still hasn't gone. The Mercedes is about to be taken away by the bank. The old me would run in and pay it but I feel like I need to take a stand for myself for once. He has done this to us before...bought an expensive car and had it repo'd. I paid to get it back and he lost it again. I feel like he has tested me over and over this year. When I ask for something in return like "for my birthday I would like to know how you feel about me." He asks me "what do you want from me poetry?"
When will the tests be over? Will he ever wake up and realize all that I have been through this year and will I finally mean something to him..something worth working for? I read a lot of self help articles on how to improve your marriage and signs that you are doing what you need to for your spouse and I already do most of it...I want to start giving him some direction but i don't want to come acrossed as nagging.