{{{LIS}}} Whatever you decide, make sure your decision is about YOU AND THE KIDS..if it would be a stretch to make the big trip, there are TONS of trips you could do that would be equally cool and less expensive..
But if you CAN afford it..dude I'd be in Hawaii in a SECOND! LOL
Let us know how it turns out!
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
Mof3, Your comment has me confused. Looks like you may be seeing something I (and many others) are not. Certainly would appreciate hearing your thoughts on that.
Update:
Hawaii OUT. W decided tonight she wanted to go. K's were asked - they did not want to go at end of day (except D11). So trip is off. Instead, I will take k's to vacation property after Christmas for a few days, then W will come down and S13 and I will come home for hockey. K's came up with this idea.
In the family meeting, W said "you guys know your dad and I are getting a D". W said that I wouldn't let her sell the house and she cannot get a mortgage without her share of the house and a job and she is not going on welfare. I asked her to stop any accusations. W said that "your dad and I both feel..." at which I stopped her and said please, speak of your feelings and I can speak of mine. W got pissed and said "all I was going to say was that we both love you all and want this to be easy."
W said she cannot move out with the k's and I said W that is your choice. She said again she needs somewhere for her and the k's - I said "excuse me". She said she gets k's 50% of time and got pissy. I never disagreed with her - but if she wants out she can leave until things are settled. Hated for the k's to hear that. She did stop and say this is an adult conv and k's don't need to be involved. She is right... about D11, but S13 and D16 get a say in what they want to do.
She then asks if she can talk to the K's by herself. This is when they came up with the vacation property travel idea.
Then I had a chance to talk to the k's by myself. Encouraged them to open up, say whatever is on their minds. The C they saw once (W's C) said that W and I wanted different things - that hadn't changed. Said I wished I could snap my fingers and make things right. D16 asked what I meant. I said right for our family. D16 said this isn't fun - I said I agreed and understood. I said that when there is major problems in a R, there are two ends: split things or work on things - that is what C meant and that tells you what I would like. I said this sucks and encouraged them to talk it out and express their feelings. Also said it is ok to cry - even I had.
W then came in and wondered why k's looked more upset than when she talked to them. Because the k's were honest with their feelings and I was honest with them? For example, D11 was crying and W was comforting her saying its all ok, don't worry. I did say that life would go on and things would be ok, but would be different and encouraged the k's to feel their emotions - seems like W wants to protray a nothing but happy picture. YUCK.
Anyway, ho ho ho...
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
Oh yeah - another thing. After convo last wknd, now that they know of A, asked MIL today if her and FIL have any advice for me with this sitch. We will chat this week.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
LIS Sounds like it was tough. Did I read that correct....you almost let W leave with the Ks? Good job on stopping her when she made the "we" comments. YOU won't let HER sell the house??
H 34 W 31 M 11yrs D 11 D 9
6-1-08 I wanted to fix marriage 6-11-08 I found out about OM
{{{LIS}}}} Those convos are never easy are they? Yes, I had to do the same thing with my kids, explaining that I wanted the marriage to work and that hub didn't feel he wanted to work on it..
Good for you for standing your ground!
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
54, No she didn't almost leave with the kids. She was saying that she needed a place for her and the kids to live. The implication to me was she thought she'd have them full time. Then when I said "excuse me" she got all pissy and started with the "I get them 50% of the time" right in front of them. BRUTAL!!!!!!!! Oh yeah, and then she went out with EGF as K's were going to bed. Real nice!
MC Thanks. Unfortunately I am going to have to do that more. Unfortunate because she always does this when there are others around like the k's.
((((Tawnya)))) Talking to the kids like that is the hardest. Seeing the tears, the confusion in their eyes, the absolute hurt they are going through. Wanted to just take them away from everything.
As I told the k's, THIS SUCKS!
Last edited by lost_in_space; 12/15/0802:05 PM.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
{{LIS}}..yep..I told my kids the same thing..it totally sucks! But we will ALL (including our kids) make it thru this and somehow be stronger and better on the other side!
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
