Another Wife Hit by the Bomb Thread #5

[Tawnya]

Well..last night, at some point, while I was reading my book and after reading here and just feeling really at peace, I came to a serious "drop the rope" decision..it really just felt right and good, so I went to hub and said the following (hold onto your hats folks

I went downstairs and told hub I wanted to talk to him about something, he had the look like "oh crap, a long discussion", but I assured him it wouldn't take long. I said, basically, "You know that I love you and would have done anything at the beginning of this to make this work. However, the fact that you have continued to lie to me, setting up the account with her and going on this trip with her is SO disrespectful to me." I then said, "If Christmas wasn't next week, I would tell you that, if you go on this trip with her, to have the sep agreement in place and not come back after you got back from the trip, because it's just THAT disrespectful."

I assured him this wasn't an ultimatum, I just told him that somewhere along the line today I found my self respect that I didn't know was even gone. He never took it like an ultimatum, so I give the credit to God for the peace on that one.

Then I said, "Since it IS Christmas next week and son wants you here, daughter would like you here and I don't mind you being here for that, I won't push it to be before you leave. However, if you choose this trip, then you need to make it soon." I said, "I would never have thought I'd be sitting here saying these things and I'm not trying to make you be homeless. These are YOUR choices, not mine, and you backed me into a corner where I feel I have no choice."

Then I told him that if he, for whatever reason, DIDN"T make the trip with her, then we would go back to the whenever you can go sep agreement. Of course, he said he would make it happen the first few weeks in January because his plans were not going to change. I said, okay.

I told him that, because of these disrespectful choices that, if at some point he did (in his words from the other night) "fall out of bed and realize his mistake" that HE could let me know and I would let HIM know what it would take to consider working on a reconciliation..

I actually then just went upstairs and slept, actually all night for a change, until 7:30. This morning hub was home due to a different work schedule this week, and I was nice, talked to him about the crummy weather up north they were having since that is where he is headed.

I will still be my same nice self, I don't feel upset about it..so, I'm assuming this is what "dropping the rope" feels like, and, it's not as scary and bad as I thought

So..there ya go!

Tawnya