The enthusiasm of the young. Oh gosh they are a delight. It snowed about 4/5" here. We're from the east, and we used to get 3, 4, or 6 inches of snow regularly. Sometimes a couple times in a single week. We'd get 15-20 inches of snow in one go, once or twice every year. The kids grew up in that. So here it snowed almost an inch, and they are so happy about it. We had to get the sleds, we had a 45-minute snowball fight (guess who was the patsy?), we rolled in the snow for an hour. Snow angels, snow castles (8 inches tall). Ahhhh, kids! I love how energetic they are, how indefatigable. a dusting of snow and they think they are in heaven. We adults have something to learn from the young ones!
The season. Christmas is a lovely celebration. I'm looking forward to it, enjoying it already. I'm trying to make it real clear to my kids what I think it is all about. I am very excited about celebrating it with them. I am excited about the gifts, the decorations, the lights, all of it.
The snow. It was so cool watching it come down in the storm last night. Today, my son and I took a walk around, it was all so beautiful. As we walked around the nearby pond, we startled a Great Blue Heron. It was just 20 feet away. What a majestic bird! It took flight into the snowy woods. What a sight!
I am likely to be divorced before the week is out. Never wanted this, fought like heck to avoid it. But here we are. And yet, I am not discouraged. You know why? Because I am nuts!
No, wait. I don't want to admit that.
Seriously. I am not discouraged because I am looking forward to cessation of the legalized rape of yours truly. This is when the next part of her life begins for her, the part that does not revolve around beating me up. Her main project will no longer be to attack me.
As of last week, she has rent to pay for the first time in, oh... 20 years? She will need a paying job. Or a new hobby besides giving all our money to her attorney. I have waited a long time for natural consequences, and they are finally arriving. She will have her own problems to worry about now, and with me out of the way, those problems won't be my fault.
Or maybe I'm wrong? I don't know. She is still pretty angry, from what I can tell, still blaming me not only publicly, but it seems blaming me in her heart, too, from the way she communicates in email. We'll see what happens. People always say, the change of heart, if it comes, will come suddenly. On the road to Damascus, and all that. A couple people related stories to me recently about divorced women who had their change of heart 6 weeks after the divorce. We'll see.
Time, time, only time. Time will heal. And in time I will know where to go next. For now I am staying put and enjoying Christmas!
I had a good weekend with the kids. We did all the stuff I talked about - shopping, baking, hanging out. My son got a new coat, he seems proud of it. We went to the mall and had smoothies. Even though it was crowded, I smiled the entire time, just hanging with the four kids. We do a gift exchange, a "Secret Santa" thing. There are 17 cousins in their generation on my side, and even though we are across the country, we keep it up. Each person gets one gift and gives one gift.
So they all picked gifts for their person, they each put thought into it. They spend their own allowance money. They were each very proud. Of course, I'm sure they have the anticipation of what they might receive, but I was really trying to focus them on the giving part. Thinking about the other person, what would they like, who are they, what would make them happy? It takes effort to be a good gift giver, y'know? But they all did great. They're very excited. It's nice to see. A nice tradition.
Hey S, oh boy snow, I love that! I would have been right there in the snow with your kids. I am in the New York/New Jersey area, we used to have great snowstorms - but no longer (global warming and all that). I miss that!
Christmas is a wonderful time of year (albeit bittersweet when dealing with MLC). You cant help but be happy when kids are involved.
As part of my present to my 8 year old niece, we are going to the American Girl doll store for dinner. I am so excited!
Your wife will have reality hit her in the face when all is said and done and it aint gonna be pretty!
We are all a little nuts - we standers, dont you think?
I am sorry the divorce will be final soon. But I am sure in some ways that part of it being finished is a relief.
That is so cool about the Secret Santa. I love traditions like that!
You sound good, my friend. Keep up the positive attitude, treasure each moment with your children, pray for your wife and keep doing the right thing. It all pays off, I just know it.
She is testifying on the stand - saying all sorts of things. I sound like a terrible person. I start to lose faith in myself.
On the stand, she said she spoke with a friend, who told her I seemed insane, and that he was worried for her safety. I spoke with the friend, today. He denied ever using the word insane. He denied ever expressing any concern about anyone's safety.
She twists everything. Even under oath.
The trial will not finish this week. It will be continued into January.
I'm so sorry, Sir. But don't lose faith in yourself! It's a tactic, that's all. Even if she seems to believe it in her heart, it's still a tactic that allows her to extricate herself without feeling guilt. Except that eventually, she will.
I would think that the court would not place much weight on her "hearsay" statement. You could mention that the friend denied saying those things.
You're far from being a terrible person. In fact, most of us think you're a pretty wonderful person. You'll be in my prayers thru the trial.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
I will testify, and yes I will of course state that I called this person who denied ever saying such things. There is a bunch of that kind of stuff that is basically "my word against hers". [Because both of us are reporting on what the person said, and the person has not filed an affadavit or testified directly. It could be that the person lied to me, for example. Or I could be lying to the court. And so on. my word against hers.] There is a different bunch of stuff she has said which I can prove as false, with documents and so on. I'm hoping the judge will see everythinig as a pattern.
You might wonder, What place does this have on divorce busting bboard? I don't know. I am still hoping for a complete reversal of her heart. A heart transplant. The things she has said on the stand -she has painted me as a truly horrible person. I would divorce me if it were true. But at last I will get to say my piece. I will testify with love in my heart, though some of the things I say, she will not like. I pray that somehow, some way, the spirit of charity and forgiveness will enter her heart.
People still want me to be angry with her. But she seems lost, injured. How could a person actually say these things? She has a ton of hurt in her heart, from her lost childhood. And that led her to want to flee the marriage, and break up the family. And yes, now I think she has guilt for her part.
Thanks so much for your prayers. I can use the strength.
I will testify, and yes I will of course state that I called this person who denied ever saying such things. There is a bunch of that kind of stuff that is basically "my word against hers". [Because both of us are reporting on what the person said, and the person has not filed an affadavit or testified directly. It could be that the person lied to me, for example. Or I could be lying to the court. And so on. my word against hers.] There is a different bunch of stuff she has said which I can prove as false, with documents and so on. I'm hoping the judge will see everythinig as a pattern.
You might wonder, What place does this have on divorce busting bboard? I don't know. I am still hoping for a complete reversal of her heart. A heart transplant. The things she has said on the stand -she has painted me as a truly horrible person. I would divorce me if it were true. But at last I will get to say my piece. I will testify with love in my heart, though some of the things I say, she will not like. I pray that somehow, some way, the spirit of charity and forgiveness will enter her heart.
People still want me to be angry with her. But she seems lost, injured. How could a person actually say these things? She has a ton of hurt in her heart, from her lost childhood. And that led her to want to flee the marriage, and break up the family. And yes, now I think she has guilt for her part.
Thanks so much for your prayers. I can use the strength.
You are a rare individual, Sir. You've been through so much at her hands, but you still have an understanding heart.
I'm glad you have documentation of things so that the truth will be served. As well as a pattern developing.
My H seems lost as well, although his childhood appears to be somewhat idyllic compared to most. And his brothers are quite stable. I know I keep reading that MLC is at least in part a response to needing to work through childhood trauma. But I'm just not seeing it in his history. Even at my most understanding.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
