Making my own good karma!!

[Silent Chrleader]

S17 and D24 are pushing to have a session with C with all of us there. They want to confront H and let the C see his "true colors". When S17 is in session with H and C, he says that H is so "slick" and controls the conversation and C "lets" him, because he is neutral. H has a VERY strong personality and very smaart. He could sell an eskimo ice cubes! So, S17 wants us all in the room so that H will have to face reality. I am very concerned with the idea of "ganging up" on H, but in some ways I feel that this is the only way we can get the truth out in the open. We have been in C in various forms for 9 months now, and H hasn't accepted any responsibility for problems as far as I can see.

H called today and I asked him if he planned on having MC this week. He had planned to only do IC and may a session with S17. I told him I wanted to meet together and he asked if I had an agenda and I said I did somewhat. He wanted to hear it, so I did tell him some of it. I told him that C thought we still needed to talk specifically about the A (C did say this in last session) and that S17 had voiced a lot of concerning thoughts after the party on Friday.

When H asked for more info, I did tell him S17 said he thought H was using me until he was in a better financial position to save the ranch for himself. H said he wasn't "stringing be along" because he had said he wanted a D. And that my bonus I got would go to the payments on the ranch anyway because we are in a community property state. So, he basically seemed to confirm what S17 said. That he will not sell the ranch and still doesn't have any real desire to work on the M (no surprise there).

So, now I really don't know what to do! Do I take the risk, and not file for D, and use my money pay the payments on the ranch? And in the end, H may walk away and emotionally rape me by keeping the house but not me? [Yes he would have to buy me out of the house, but that money is not what matters to me.]. Maybe I should file for a financial seperation? We have a one-hour session with C scheduled on Wednesday and a 2-hour on Thursday (which H plans to attend). Maybe we (S17, D24 and I) should do the Wednesday session to discuss our idea and see what C says?

I hate this!! I love my H and I love my kids and I want us to be a family, but I am the only one on the planet that seems to feel there is any hope for us in getting there!!! Where did we "F" this up so much!!!