Being content for now.

[kissak]

I dont know why I feel so down today. It hit me last night. I needed someone to talk to late last night...but felt so alone.

I just feel like crying today. Pray for me.

My son didnt take his pill this morning. I didnt force it either. Didnt feel like dealing with it. I have to go to my daughters band concert tonight and my H is supposed to come. He missed them all last year. DIdnt come to any of them....I dread having to deal with him tonight.

[Maya44]

Kissak, I think it's the holiday season that gets us down. I really do. It's hard times as it is, let alone doing this as a single parent when we didn't "sign up" for that role. I'm in the same boat, as are alot of us here. Come here and chat and we'll all help eachother.

[kissak]

Thanks Dar....I do want to cry sometimes still. I have really good days and then when I have a bad day, well, its bad. But they are few and far between which I guess is good.

I do have alot to be thankful for.

[kissak]

Ok guys, I had a little bit of a melt down Friday with my H. He picked up the kids from me for the weekend and I asked what they had planned for the night...he said they were going to his parents and he was going to do laundry. Ok...what didnt set right with me was that he wanted his sister to stop by and get their clothes from me...he werent going to wait around for me to get them to him....so when he left he called me to let me know that I could drop the kids clothes off at his sisters workplace...then I asked why he was in such a hurry...he stalled and gave some excuse then I just said "what are you really doing"...then he came out with "im going to a party, leaving the kids at parents house".

Ok...it made me mad that he lied at first to me. Then I find out from his sister that he was going to his parents every night to use their computer...he was leaving the kids at his parents that night and they both had the flu. THE FLU!! Oh, I was furious!!! Oh, sorry but I called him. Told him that wasnt right and I wanted to know how come he lied to me anyway! Of course I know why...he didnt want me to fuss at him...but Im sorry I did it anyway!! Then I laid into him and told him i was tired of waiting on him to get me the separation papers and he needed to get on the ball!! All I got from him was more lies...then he said all he wants to do is "have fun". Thats it!!

So, he only had them yesterday. Cuz today he brought them home for church and went to work then asked if I could keep them all day because he wanted to work tonight too. So in exchange he will keep them next saturday.

I have had people telling me they saw him at 4o'clock saturday morning at a store with some lady..then he goes and gets the kids a few hours later!!

Oh Im so mad at him i could scream. My kids didnt even want to go with him today. He could have taking them to a christmas parade yesterday but didnt!! He did nothing with them!!

Oh when will he grow up????!!! I told him he was a selfish, immature a$$!!!! grrrrrr

lol OK Im done venting.

I just see him going nowhere. So does his family. All he wants to do is "have fun". He is 34 years old! Grow up already! Where is that MAN I thought I was married to a few years ago?

[kissak]

HELLOOOOO....anybody out there????

I feel the need to scream today! Been one of those long boring days with way too much on my mind!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

[Andabelle]

I hear you. I just got out of the looney bin after a 6 day stay-- honestly! Don't let your a**hole H drive you around the bend! He's not worth it!

Re: getting your S to take pills-- I spray my dogs' pills with Pam, and they slide right down. That probably wouldn't be too appetizing for your S, but maybe if you used something like coconut or grapeseed oil, it might not taste too bad.

Hang in there, sweetie.

[kissak]

Thanks Andabelle....We have put my son on the patch. It was so easy for him...he did great in school yesterday and even he could tell a difference!

I kinda got in it last night with my H. Then he said something that bothered me...he said that nothing he does will ever be right in my eyes. So, after thinking long and hard about it I have decided to stop pointing out any negative no matter what it is. I just need to be friendly and firm. So, this morning when he called the kids I spoke to him. I was really trying to be nice. He asked how I was and I said fine and I asked how he was. He said he was alright, well then I told him how our son did in school yesterday on the patch and that he had a great day...then I told him i had to go so I could get ready to take the kids to school. He wished me a good day and I said thank you and that I would talk to him later.

Ok I thought it went good. I was positive and didnt let any sarcasam slip about him not calling the kids yesterday or anything...

About 10 minutes after I hand up with him he texts me...."I guess you dont care if I have a good day or not"

ok...that brought me back down. Seems I cant do anything right now.

[Maya44]

Stick to your plan of not letting him get you down. You're doing sooooo great....don't let him ruin that.

[kissak]

Thanks FG...Im trying...I know what it is...he is down today and he feels like making me that way too. But I havent let it so far. He has texted a few times and I just politely answer and nothing more. He even asked how I was doing today and I replyed fine and u? He told me he was a little down....then just asked what was for lunch. I just dont get him sometimes.

What does he want from me?

[Maya44]

Why did he ask what's for lunch?? I don't get that.