Finally a new wifey thread

[The Wifey]

Okay, everyone can put away the 2x4's. I didn't take the apartment. I am in my home and he left. Actually I demanded and told him he had to leave.

He immediately said he didn't have any place to go, didn't have anything prepared, could do it financially right now, etc.

I didn't back down. I said that if you love me as you say you do then you will stop the emotional torture. You see the legal separation as wiping the slate clean, starting fresh, that you need this time to heal, and blah, blah, blah. I can't take it any more because it is tearing my guts out.

I said that he had to leave and he had to leave today. My son was coming home tonight (to put on snow tires and have dinner with us) and when he left, my h had to go.

He finally agreed to go stay at his mom & dad's for now.

This all happened because I asked if he had been back to the lawyers, then I asked if he'd made an appointment. (I knew he had.) He looked me in the eyes and he lied. He said he hadn't.

He went to the appointment and I knew he had. Then I asked him about it a couple days after and told him I knew about it - that a friend of mine saw his car at the lawyers.

He admitted it and said he hadn't filed anything - yet - but that he was planning to give me papers after the first of the year. I was out of my mind in disbelief and in pain.

Then I decided ok, this is what you want, then this is what you get. I let him know that I would not call and I would make no effort to see him. IF he really wanted a fresh start then any effort had to come from him. And if he didn't - then I wouldn't wait for him.

I had spent 7 months being rejected and making the effort. Now it was all on him to figure out his head. And if he didn't then I would and will move on.

He said, but you said you would always love me. He said you said you would always be there. I replied that I would always love him, but that damn him, I was worth fighting for and if he didn't make me feel like I was worth it then I wouldn't be there.

And oh, his thought that we would heal, and then restart, and make dates and build off the friendship and "the little things" might not go as he planned. I would not be just Oh ok, honey. I was now hurt and resentful and there is now a huge wall that we will have to deal with.

He thinks it would all be ok to do this.

So, anyhow, that is why and how I am here by myself, But I am ok.

The apartment idea was put aside because he said he wants to gift the house to me. So the plan is to refinance the house (our balance is less than 25,000 right now) and stay here and he will eventually get an apartment.

I still hate the idea of the legal separation, but I am no longer fighting it. He can have it, and he can have the space and time. I am keeping on.