And when I get back on the wagon shortly in regards to my prayer routine, you surely won't be forgotten.
I had a meltdown yesterday. Came unglued. Most of it was isolated and contained to just me and the walls of my apartment (dog went runnin'). The initial build up to it was what I believe was my first real and true backslide in a phonecall with my beautiful darling. Something about her plans for the day including going shopping with her ex (her 1st one, who's roof she lives under ....as I am #2 (some might say) ..the one who's roof she is not living under) to p/u a Xmas gift for their daughter. I have been un-jealous for long enough and that just hit a nerve and sent me tumbling over the edge. I did not saty on the phone long w/ her but tried repeatedly to point out that I did not think that it was an obligation of hers to have to go with shopping with the ex just because a gift was being purchased for their daughter. I either implied or said outright that rather than it being an obligation, that it was more accurately her choice to go with him. And after that I just started talking nonsense and was stammering and tripping over my words ..out of sheer frustration of all this. I want her on my arm
