Well the party was a great time. Honestley until the end fo the night it was a little hard. Everytime I looked around there were just all these couples together and it was hard to not think that..wow I used to have that too and now I don't have anyone. It just seemed as if everyone either was married or had a date. No one really came in groups of friends of alone, so it was a constant reminder of being a lone for the holidays.
But by the end of the night. We started to have a great time. I met a few really nice people (co-workers of my friend) and we hung out all night even after the party.
I came home today and my husband took the rest of his clothes our of bedroom. He said he wanted to make sure his stuff wasn't in my way. Which of course it wasn't. I think because we just had some nasty conversations this past week, esp with as much anger as I had, he felt the need to find another way to really get at me. He new his stuff wasn't in the way. It wasn't even stuff he was wearing right now, but he made sure to take most of it..and yet leave a few piles still b/c he said he couldn't fit those in his car. Which was so not true because he still had plenty of room in his car and there wasn't too much left.
It really really hurt that he did this. After he left and he knew I was upset he sent me a text saying he was sorry that things were rough right now. That one day they will not be so hard and we will both be able to move on with our lives. To try and enjoy the rest of my weekend, because I deserve having a great weekend.
I never responded to this. I guess I felt like he took all his stuff, which I knew in time he would need to do, but at this point he doesn't have a place to live other than his moms and he had kept saying he was going to keep that stuff here until he would need it as long as it wasn't in the way, so he did this just to hurt me. He knows I don't want him to leave but this was him making his point again. And he does it and then tells me to enjoy my weekend. That is so hypocritical to me.
Anyway. I know I am just rambling. this week will be very emotional for me. Friday will be our 10 year anniversary and I am having a hard time with that. I just want to get through all this holiday stuff. Everything this time a year is a constant reminder of us not being together because we always did so much together as a family.
I am sure I will be on the boards alot this week. I am trying to maintail to PMA but it is really hard right now. I am planning so fun stuff for Friday so I won't be alone..at this point I am going to participate in a all womens Texas Holdem Poker Party with a Friend!! So that should be a lot of fun.
I just wish that every minute my mind wouldn't wonder back to my H. Even in my dreams I wake up thinking about the situtation. It is getting so bad. I am so upset my it and what has happened and the feelings of regret are starting to sink in as well.
Well tonight it is just me and my S...My H is keeping our D until the morning but since my S had basketball all weekend he couldn't go with his dad, so we are going to go watch a movie and eat dinner together. Its the first night in long time I will get to do anything with just my S. So I am looking forward to it. He doesn't talk much about his feelings on the situation but I think he is looking forward to spending time with just me too.
Have a great night everyone and a wonderful week. Talk to you all this week I am sure.
