Detach>Worse>Weird>Better ???

[Sophie]

You are right, Silver....I can see how staying on the high road, when I am around H gives him absolutely no reason to think 'yea, I'm doing the right thing...she's nuts'.

I agree with you...it feels kind of good to know you have done nothing wrong. AND it makes it so much more difficult to divorce a nice, sweet, cute, understanding, freedom giving woman...like we are

I never get flowers...the first bday my H was gone he gave me a tool box with used tools collected from his shop...you know, the left overs.

I did want a lady-like tool box with a set of pliers.

He bought a heavy black craftsman box from Sears...and NO pliers.

I put flower stickers ALL over it!! And it rough and tough so I kick it around garage.

The next year, he gave me a jogging outfit. That was awesome! I keep thinking that I blew it, because I thought he was thinking of moving back so I asked...NOT....I pushed him away.

This year, the third year he's been gone....nothing. He did everything he could to avoid it. (But, that was to pay me back for not doing anything on his bday...except send the kids to his house). That was the only year since I've known him (19 years) that I didn't do his bday up right.

The last 4 years...I have given him a great bday...and 2-3 weeks later he is 'trashing' me...first, he starts up with OW right after his bday, next year says he wants to move out right after his bday, next year he is out and says he has no intention of ever coming back after the kids and I gave him a great bday (I shouldn't have asked)...the next year, I was detaching and I did nothing...., this year we gave him a really nice bday (I was acting 'as if'/detached and helped the kids with his bday)...he signed D papers 11 days later.

H has his 'time of the month'...every October!!

Sorry to ramble...just remembering days gone by.