I guess I don't know if it is or not..a boundary Tom..I just don't know I feel like nothing is within a boundary anymore, if that makes sense..and this is such ridiculous and new territory I don't know what I would say or how I would back it up..except to say something like "you taking her on this trip and lying to me about it is disrespectful and unacceptable. If you go on this trip with her you will need to find somewhere to live pretty immediately after Christmas (I think I would get more specific than that..this is just my rambling right now totally off the cuff..)..because that is unacceptable to me to live with?!
I dunno..I know people have spouses that go off with their OTHERS and, is this trip really any different than them say spending every one of those days together at work..well yes I guess it is different because they will be together constantly..but is it any different than if he was HERE, off those days, and went to see her every day? Is it any different than when he took her and her 3 kids to the zoo all day? I dunno..
I just feel like, am I a doormat if I allow that to happen (when I say allow, I have no control over it, but you know what I mean)..and there be no consequences on my end..does my knowing when he didn't want me to be a consequence enough..does any of this matter LOL..
Anyway..I guess I'd still love some thoughts on the above post and my rambling in this one..off to pray and hopefully sleep soon
Hugs and thanks!
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
I don't know how you're holding it together. Big hugs.
I agree with marriedCrazy - this is about your boundaries - setting boundaries within which you will respect yourself (care less about his respect right now). I think part of that is setting a boundary that you can keep. It's such a tough situation.
Well I had a REALLY great day today..went to a "new" church, one I had thought of visiting before, but kinda had a confirmation to visit this week and then, at the same time, my daughter had also been thinking of going to this same church (we know a lot of people that go there)..so we ended up going and I really REALLY liked it..my friend that I ate with on Friday was there and had brought me a book to read that she and another friend of mine had raved about called "The Shack"..I started it today and I'm already on page 80 or something (I love to read and, once I get INTO a book, it's zipped thru LOL)
Then my daughter took me out to lunch at Applebees and we had fun, decided that later tonight we would go clean the building I have to clean and then go see The Day the Earth Stood Still, we'd been talking about wanting to see it and, since Friday was a day the earth stood still for ME (LOL)I didn't get to go that day..
Right now, son wanted to go out and start looking a bit for Christmas presents, so I'll be taking him out to eat something for him (I'm still full from lunch) and look a bit..
So..it's just been a good day, I feel better about just letting God do His job and I'll keep doing mine..LOL..which is just to keep getting on the right track for me
Hugs!
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
I snapped with stored up aggression and aggravation over why this is taking so long, why I am having to go through this and when will the end be close enough to wiff.
My tenderhearted dogette was runnin for cover. Projectiles were flying. Kinda not proud of it. But..Oh well
{{{Tomato}}} Aww..thank you for sharing it with me then, if you weren't proud of it..I always admire the strength in admitting when you totally have a crappy night instead of hiding it
I had to laugh at the statement "when will the end be close enough to wiff"..LOL..still humor in the midst of it all!
You know someone said (or I read I don't remember) to buy some dollar store plates to break for times such as that! Hope it wasn't anything valuable to you..
HOW are you today my friend?? I pray all of us see a glimmer of hope in something/somehow/someway, or at least not grow weary in the waiting for it!
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
I got treated to late lunch/early dinner by a buddy of mine (fellow pilot) this afternoon. I appreciate the Lord's kindness in causing that friend to get a hold of me at that time of need (and extreme lonliness). My buddy then proceeded to fly his airplane up from Gaithersburg to meet up with me. The Lord displays his kindness to me even when I am pissed at Him and everybody else.
I'll put the stupid stuff that happened on my thread in piecing.
I have to go cut and paste it from BobbiJo's sep. thread. At least that is where I think I 'offloaded' my junk.
I am in a numb mood. Maybe it will help to pray. For the first night in ..since I don't know when, I elected not to pray. Or in other words, not to make things better. Just stubborn and aggravated and jealous and lonely and pissed and frowning and hot-tempered and fragile and messed up and Me. NUMB me.
