I was kind of rabid yesterday. I think I might have been foaming at the mouth. I was overcome with an unhealthy rage. Not liking myself or anything in the world. So I went totally numb and flopped in my chair and through in my RUSH concert DVD and cranked it up to eardrum rattling levels.
Some of the 'derailment' has been undone as I did brush the devil off of me just enough to begrudgingly get to church today. I do not appreciate at all why my Lord is having me in this solitary life right now. If I had wanted this, I would not have chosen to marry my beautiful W. It makes no earthly sense. I just want her on my arm
