God grant me the patience and the strength...9

[theotherhalf]

sorry all, I took it one step farther. I had to. For ME. I knew he wouldn't remember much of what was said last night. So this morning I made sure he did. I packed up his coveralls and stuff and took them to his house. He was passed out on the couch. The very sight of him made me sick. Last night I heard him say "I do what ever the f&*$ I want. I HEARD him say he "wants" to hurt me. I will not let that happen any longer. I asked him why he went there. (sorry but he would not get yelled at if he came to me. He knows that. But I don't have to say anything, one look at me and it feels the same to him) He had no answer. Matter of fact he laid there on the couch with his eyes closed and said nothing.

I told my H that I love him, I believe in him, I have faith in us. But it's damb time he makes a choice. I will not let him use me and hurt me anymore. Regardless of how much I want him here, after last night there will be no more hanging out. No more overnight stays. No more sex. He needs to figure [censored] out and if he wants to talk, he knows where I am. And I left.

Before you all get started...THIS TIME I didn't do it to get a reaction out of him, I didn't do it to pursuade him, I didn't do it to make him feel guilty. I went there and said what I said from my heart. Because life like this with OW in it, with things so hurtful can not, will not go on any longer. It is NOW time to change...at least for me.

Not closing the door on my H. Not filing for D. I cant. But I will not put myself in front of his truck one more day. If he goes and files I will deal with that too. Something has to change.