We will listen to you moan. That is what we are here for plus it gets it out of your system. Your MIL will most likely only hear H's side of everything and she is probably pretty mad at him but easier to let some of that anger out on you. (Remember my MIL who wouldn't tell her son how mad she was at him because then he wouldn't come see her?? But she could sure get mad at me!!)
Keep posting, it helps.
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
And it has been such a waste of an entire year of my existance.
I feel like that sometimes too, I could say the same. But you know I've learned a lot this past year, learned to set priorities, take time for myself, work on my confidence, make new friends here and in my little town, etc. I've probably learned more in this past year than any, more like 10 years of learning I've done in this past year it feels like. I think all my Rs in the future are going to be better and if I do wind up with a loser, I'm going to be outa there faster than you can imagine. So maybe we haven't really wasted this time even though it feels like it sometimes? Karen
And it has been such a waste of an entire year of my existance.
But you know I've learned a lot this past year, learned to set priorities, take time for myself, work on my confidence, make new friends here and in my little town, etc. I've probably learned more in this past year than any, more like 10 years of learning I've done in this past year it feels like.So maybe we haven't really wasted this time even though it feels like it sometimes? Karen
Karen,
you are SO right. I have made a group of new friends, I have played ball in the summer, started kickboxing, and am going to do pole dancing tonight I hold myself different and people notice. I am no longer "just" a nice girl, I am an attractive confident woman. Thank you, I have a little more pep for the day now.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
I'm so glad!!! Wow!!! And details???? (I'm sure the guys will want to know even more than me)!!! Karen
Ok by the time I had to go I really didnt want to, but it was a blast. And a good workout. The way it is set up you can go for a priviate lesson or up to 4 people - there are 2 poles - and you split the costs, so it is only you and your friends there. It was fun and a good distraction in the evening.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
Tough day today, although H has been gone 8 months, for the first time today he is taking D5. He has always just came to see her here, mostly because even though he left he was in constant pursuit of me. On Sundays - we were a family.
Since the court order he cannot come here, MIL picked D up this morning at 9, she will be spending the night there, and going to school from there in the morning. It is finally a big dose of reality about how much things have changed. And it only took a full year to get to this point.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
Sorry about the rough day Snow. I think that is the hard thing for me now is not being able to see the kids whenever I want. In a lot of other ways, things are better for me though, and maybe for you? Things have gotten a lot better in the past year too for me although yeah lots of changes, and I think will also for you? You know your quote on your sig line is true: you do deserve better, and your life will get better. (((Snow)))) Karen
I am really struggling. I actually did very well during the period of no contact. While I worried about H, I really finally was able to drop the rope. I didnt worry if he was going to call and what he was doing when he didn't and I didn't have to worry about whether or not he was going to be mad everytime I did something with my friends.
No contact ended last week. Since then I have been an emotional disaster. H has been very kind. In that he has come to the conclusion(or at least he says) that he wants to come home. He loves me and everything he did was wrong. He wants his family and his life back. He has been going to therapy and claims that the therapy has helped him see why he did what he did and how to control his anger and work on his other issues.
It is so hard. It took me almost a year to be able to step forward and realize that my life is different and there would be no going back. And now I dont think there is any possibility of getting by what has happened. The only thing is is that I struggle a great deal with lonliness. And it is very difficult for me to say no to something - something I did want more than anything for a very long time - when my other choice is nothing.
If anyone watched Desperate Housewives last night I identified so strongly with Susan. I feel like I need someone to make me feel whole.
Help!
Last edited by Snow White; 01/12/0912:12 PM.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
I think he needs to show you and not just tell you that he has changed. In our past conversations you were pretty firm about moving on with your life and that you were done. While there are no guarantees about what the future holds for you, you did have some possibilities present themselves.
I wouldn't change a thing unless your H can show that he has turned over a new leaf and that there really is no contact with OW. Hope that helps.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I hold myself different and people notice. I am no longer "just" a nice girl, I am an attractive confident woman. Thank you, I have a little more pep for the day now.
Karen
I think that is the hard thing for me now is not being able to see the kids whenever I want. In a lot of other ways, things are better for me though, and maybe for you? Things have gotten a lot better in the past year too for me although yeah lots of changes, and I think will also for you? You know your quote on your sig line is true: you do deserve better, and your life will get better. (((Snow)))) Karen