Maybe I should be in piecing part 5?

[Hope4us]

Haven't posted for a while. Hasn't been much to post about.

We continue to get along great, but there in lies the (latest)problem.

I NEED more from her.

Last night was W's work Christmas party. We had a lot of fun and there were a number of further postivie signs. W had bought a new dress for the party and she looked GREAT. Ok, TOTALLY FRICKIN HOT! And I told her so a number of times through out the evening and she responded with smiles, etc so I know she appreciated it. She wore the pearl necklace we got her at Disney and...wait for it....the diamond tennis bracelet I got her when we renewed our wedding vows 10 years ago! Still no rings, but I thought the bracelet was a GREAT sign.

But there were a number of things that happened and things I observed last night that really bothered me.

I know a number of people W works with, both from my work relationships with them and people I knew who I used to work with in our old location. With those two groups of people, W was fine, talkative, all of us in the conversations.

But with the people I didn't know from her work, she was DIFFERENT. A number of them she didn't even introduce me to them while talking to them. A couple others introduced themselves to me and W would say "Oh, yeah, this is H4U" (never mentioning I was her H). It was like she didn't want anyone who didn't know me to know she was married. It was like I was her 'date'. She was talking to this one lady about some stuff we'd done last weekend and W kept saying "I" did this, "I" did that while in reality WE had done it together. I called her on it a couple times (not about not acknowledging I was her H, but about not introducing me) and she apologized (bout lost my dentures when she apologized). It was like she's got this work persona that is so DIFFERENT from her true self. It was just amazing to listen to her talk to her new friend M. M is a nice person, but is just not someone that W would normally be friends with. Again, she's nice, but listening to W talk to her it was like W had to change herself to (and I hope this doesn't sound mean) dumb down to M's level.

It was like W would be one person with me and the people I already knew and a totally different person with the people I didn't know. And it was very evident to me that she really doesn't enjoy them because shortly after dinner was over and we'd talked to a few people that W said she was ready to go. But not because she was done with the evening as she asked if I wanted to go to the little tavern down the road from us, so we did.

Sat there the rest of the evening, having a good time, got S16 some carry out and came home.

So back to the needing more from her. I just feel like we'll stay in this limbo land forever. It's really not bad the way things are now. It's like we're just really good friends. Get along great, spend lots of time together. W has asked me a number of times this last week to do things with her that she could do alone or with M or EGF.

I know there are a whole lot of people on this board that would kill to be where I am. And if I trust that DB really works, us being the friends we are now is just a step on the ladder to us putting our relationship back together. But I'm just not sure I can be patient enough to last as long as it takes for her to get to the next level. I don't want to be her "friend". I want to be her HUSBAND.