Your ears heard my pleas for you to come for an ocassional visit. How very nice! I am graced by your presence.
I am ruminating on your comments. The slow and deliberate one hear ...haha. Not too very confusing. Well ..a little but that is through no fault of your own. Plus if I tell you that you confuse the crap out of me then you won't come around much. ANd it will just be one liners :(. So the only reason why it is slightly not registering is because I am only in minimum engagement mode of whatever brain cells I have ownership of. Still trying to snap out of the sleep defecit ..with some limited success. Tough week with all that weather to be flying around in. Actually had to earn the paycheck somewhat. A fellow pilot that flies nearly the same routes as myself but for the competitor (starts with a U & ends w/ an S ..3 letters... and not DOWNS) almost killed himself while trying to complete his mission. He has quite a bit less experience than me and especially flying in icing conditions which were prevalent this week. Let's just say were it not for the grace of our WOndeful Father his wife would have been widowed. He came within a 100th of a whisker of crashing. Kind of snaps me to attention. And as far as what it did to him mentally ...Lord knows.
my anger, pain and a whole assortment of other stuff is crushing me. the disconnect, which I am to naive to see is permanent between myself and my darling. I am fully and completely NUMB.
I'll be praying that you recognize and make the most of all your many blessings my dear.
Thank you. I may not count my blessings here in this virtual world, but I do count them often & give thanks always.
Hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
And when I get back on the wagon shortly in regards to my prayer routine, you surely won't be forgotten.
I had a meltdown yesterday. Came unglued. Most of it was isolated and contained to just me and the walls of my apartment (dog went runnin'). The initial build up to it was what I believe was my first real and true backslide in a phonecall with my beautiful darling. Something about her plans for the day including going shopping with her ex (her 1st one, who's roof she lives under ....as I am #2 (some might say) ..the one who's roof she is not living under) to p/u a Xmas gift for their daughter. I have been un-jealous for long enough and that just hit a nerve and sent me tumbling over the edge. I did not saty on the phone long w/ her but tried repeatedly to point out that I did not think that it was an obligation of hers to have to go with shopping with the ex just because a gift was being purchased for their daughter. I either implied or said outright that rather than it being an obligation, that it was more accurately her choice to go with him. And after that I just started talking nonsense and was stammering and tripping over my words ..out of sheer frustration of all this. I want her on my arm
I will jump off hear and go and pray that the Lord will let me rest for one thing.
Such a great feeling to be developing a pattern of going to bed before 8:00. That's probably all it will be too. going to bed ...afterall the same impediments to actually falling to sleep and having it last are firmly in place.
An interesting expression/idiom that is .."falling to sleep" rather reminds me of another one "falling in love"
Now I just about want to puke!
Good night and may God bless you. Please pray that I don't act out anymore and try to be hurtful to the one R that I have going for me. My R with God.
I think a lot of people here and other than here think I can handle so much. Well I can't and even if I could ..I don't want to anymore. I am sick and I am TIRED.
I thought you were staying up tonight? To beat me... Anyway, I have read about you backslide. It happens. Dont be cruel to yourself. Get some rest and try to rest your mind also. You have your faith to help you. You will be fine... xxx K
Tomato, You don't think you have the right to blow a gasket once and awhile. Brother, you may be a child of God, but you are still human.You can only endure so much. I understand your frustration, sometimes I think it is fruitless to not push my wife into finishing the divorce so I can move on.But that is not our lot in life.We have been called to a higher calling, trying to save our marriages, our families.
It is ok to feel sick and tired, bud, I have felt that way all day. If it wasn't for Jesus, I would have checked out long ago. I will pray for you tonight.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
Thank you for Tomato, and his heart and kindness, and passion. You've given it to him for your honor and glory, and I thank you that he is using this talent here on the board.
Father, please strengthen and guide him, please let him feel your presence....may he feel it strongly and give him peace, let it quicken within him.
Father, please help him center in you and set his goals with you as his guide.
in Jesus, sg
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
