Still More to Learn

[lovehimso]

Dear Beth,

I'm just popping in again to say hello. I've been reading through your recent posts, and I feel for you, because I have been in that same mental state myself. I've been better recently, but I continue to have a lot of contact with my H, so I'm sure that's the difference.

I am so happy for you that you are going to have your mom with you through the holidays. I, like you, am more of a "loner" than a "joiner", so I can understand how isolated you must feel right now. I think having your mom there as some built-in company can really only help you, especially if you have a good relationship. My R with my mother has always been strained, but right now we're not talking at all. Long story short (I'll try, at least!), she's never really liked me much as a person, and she has never respected me unless I'm doing what SHE wants me to do. And right now she wants me to divorce my H just as soon as I possibly can. She refuses to respect my decision, and demonstrated that by yelling at me and hanging up on me during our last phone conversation.

All of this to say, if your mom cares about you and is supportive of you, appreciate it! Enjoy her company, it may be just what you need to keep up a PMA. I know it is so hard right now, but hang in there.

Also, I think the DB counselor might be right. It may be time to start trying to initiate a little contact with your H. Try it a few times, see what happens, right?

I hope you are having a good weekend! I'll keep checking in when I can!

LHS