I like your idea of flirting a little bit every once in a while. Makes the WAS wonder even more about you when you are in "detached" mode. I guess I may need to think about how to implement that into my "new" me!
Just read through this last series... you're awesome. I know where I can go to re-learn my sense of humour! Even through that incredible convo with your h, you've got it going on, girl. Amazing. And I like the flirty bit... I'll have to think about incorporating that. That's one of my dbing complaints...sometimes it feels like such hard work that the flirting is completely lost. And I used to be so good at it! We need to keep that set of skills (and related ones) at the ready somehow.
Humor....I lost mine for awhile...it's obviously coming back. As I read your description of the trip and stopping for "rec" time I wondered....how friggin long is the trip? LOL!
I have to be honest....any "rec" time in the car between us was usually alcohol related!
H 34 W 31 M 11yrs D 11 D 9
6-1-08 I wanted to fix marriage 6-11-08 I found out about OM
{{Carp}} Good morning..what the heck are you doing up so early?
Actually it IS a long trip..like 10 or 12 hours..from NC up to Mass..
{{{WIT}}} Aww..and I think YOU are the one with the "witty" name..so thank you..it means a lot coming from you As for the flirty..like I said..hub actually opened that door and so I took advantage when he said "if it was me he'd be thinking that way" LOL..I still don't quite get how that works with OW going with him and supposedly NOT thinking about that..LOL..but I'll take it
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
Sigh..so today was a busy day at work and I'm SOOO ridiculously tired..as you can see from above, I was up early, around 5:30, and didn't get to sleep until sometime after 1..my mind was just racing and reeling and wouldn't stop!
Nothing exciting (which is good I think) on the homefront..hub came home at "normal" time and is downstairs for the night, I just got home a bit ago..and will be upstairs for the night..so life as usual
My friend at work said she couldn't BELIEVE how strong I was, let her read my sitch from last night on here instead of trying to replay it all to her..which I know we all find amazing when people say that because I really don't FEEL like I'm being "wow I'm super strong"..but I guess to other people not freaking out or throwing in the towel or leaving or killing him or something is very extraordinary..but..I dunno what the heck I'm doing most days except hanging in there
Everyone must be having a good weekend, the board seems quiet!
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
WOW! I am almost speechless! I just don't think I could have done it. I would be in handcuffs tonight and I ain't talking no sexual stuff either! That would have made me so mad that it would have been the deal breaker for me.....about the joint banking account (and that stupid lie he told you just insulted your smarts) but then to say he was taking OW on his trip but added all those "excuses" in with it......pleeeeeeease! I just wished you had waited to tell him face to face to catch his facial expression. I also wished you had had a tape recorder! All I can say is that you sure did better than I ever could have......just by not committing murder!! But, I did loooove it when you told him what he was losing in you. Now, that was a good job, sweetie! Just keep remembering that you are the one coming out the winner.
I did get a little confused......well, I just woke up from a nap and my brain is foggy (that is just as good of an excuse as he gives, isn't it?) Anyway, is he calling himself leaving for good? Or, does he think he is taking this OW with him on this trip with their joint bank account (and no telling what else is joint)and then think he is bringing his sorry a$$ back to his family here??? I mean, if Mack and Smack or Whack or whatever their names were don't break them up on that trip......what does a girl have to look forward to? Or was that after the trip? I'm so mixed up That is why my H is afraid to pull something like that is b/c I would kill him, plead insanity, and the Judge would know it was the truth!
So, how long is this trip going to be? Do you have a plan? Yuo can save it for tomorrow, don't have to tell me tonight.....LOL.
Listen, in all seriousness, I know how it hurt when your D said what she did and the sad thing is that most girls today think that about guys. They will fight other girls over these jerks and have sex with them and let them walk all over 'em just to have them for their "boyfriend"! I don't understand it. Girls get cheated on all the time and all the boy has to do is tell her what she wants to hear and try to squeeze out a sorrowful look and the crazy girl just melts. I want to get ahold of them so badly and shake them until their liver rattles. No wonder young guys have this mentality about girls today. But, anyway, I hope that there is some man in your family that she can look up to and respect and realize that not every single guy cheats. I know that had crush your heart. I don't know how you kept it together when he got home with all of it combined. He better be glad he has a sweet wife like you and not a mean b*tch like me.....cause by the time I had gotten through with him.....he would not have been able to have sex with anyone......or else she would not have been attracted to him.....either way sounds pretty tempting. You do know that I wrote shows like "The Burning Bed" and others, don't you? Just kidding. You probably don't even remember it b/c it was so many years ago about a woman who got fed up with her H abusing her and while he was asleep she tied him in the bed and set it on fire. Everyone acted like they had never thoughy of doing something like that if they were being beaten half to death once a day. I must be mean, cause I think that kind of stuff would just naturally flow into my mind if a man abused me. I heard of one woman that waited until her H went to sleep, tied the bedsheets around him, got an iron skillet and like to have beat him to death with it.....but he never laid another hand on her! I always said they have to go to sleep sometime! You know I am just carrying on to try to get over being mad at that jerk.
You keep those classes! I think it would be fantastic! And let me kind of throw something in the middle of my post here so it doesn't jump out at anyone glancing by...a friend of ours may be coming back on the BB under a different name. That is all I can say for now, but I'll try to let you know when she does. She has to be careful. Anyway, keep working on that "spunk" and don't get more flirty than spunky.....keep it balanced.
Better go for now. Hope you get some rest. Talk to you later.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
{{{Tom}}} Yeah..I definitely had a "picnic" of a day yesterday didn't I? LOL..thank you
{{Sandi}} I made you speechless..LOL..just kidding..yeah I was kinda speechless yesterday too when this at first went down..but, obviously, from my 2 post novella, I found some things to say
Funny enough, the joint bank account thing didn't throw me QUITE as much as the she's going on the trip part..I can't really say WHY that is..I knew, of course, he moved his money to another account at another bank, he TOLD me that, and I KNEW it was to keep me from seeing (or being able to prove) how much $$ they are spending..but I think why the joint bank account doesn't bug me as much as it should/does..I mean it DOES bug me..LOL..is that I finally KNEW who it was..it was there in black and white AND it's now a bargaining chip for me if I need it..so I think that's why..
Sandi..you know the real reason that it hurt me about what my daughter said? If you knew her, she doesn't date a lot, barely at all, first because we just really didn't think dating "around" was the thing to do and now it's really just her choice and that guys don't just ask her out, which I don't get, cause, not just because I'm her mom, but if you saw my FB ever, she's SOOO pretty..she's very smart, funny, blond, blue/green eyes..it's ridiculous really..LOL..so she doesn't take CRAP from guys that's for sure..but, just from things she knows from her friends, things in our family with my dad and hub's dad leaving their "first wives" for other women, she sees that guys are "jerks"..and it just hurts ME for HER that she thinks that..cause it shouldn't be like that..sighhhhh..
Actually, I do remember the Burning Bed..Farrah Fawcett..I DO Remember what a big deal it was and how serious it was..tho I always kinda think of Lorena Bobbitt in these scenarios Yep, I told hub last night he is VERY fortunate to have someone who is not out to be nasty..cause all these hubs could be seriously wounded (think the movie Misery) LOL..couldn't they?
I know this sounds "weird" but I don't know what to say about hub coming back after going on this trip with this chick..I'd love some opinions, guys and gals, do I ultimatum and say, "if you take her on this trip, you are out..well right after Christmas cause the kids would like him here for that day"..I dunno about that one..so some thoughts, good/bad/ugly would be GREAT!
Anyway..THANK YOU {{{Sandi}}} for checking on me..I was hoping you'd appreciate those things that I said about myself..it was really almost like I wasn't saying them, if that makes sense..so anyway..
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
That would have made me so mad that it would have been the deal breaker for me.....about the joint banking account (and that stupid lie he told you just insulted your smarts) but then to say he was taking OW on his trip but added all those "excuses" in with it......pleeeeeeease! I just wished you had waited to tell him face to face to catch his facial expression. I also wished you had had a tape recorder! All I can say is that you sure did better than I ever could have......just by not committing murder!! But, I did loooove it when you told him what he was losing in you. Now, that was a good job, sweetie! Just keep remembering that you are the one coming out the winner. 
That is why my H is afraid to pull something like that is b/c I would kill him, plead insanity, and the Judge would know it was the truth! 
You know I am just carrying on to try to get over being mad at that jerk.