Making my own good karma!!

[Silent Chrleader]

Hey, y'all!

Well the X-mas party was interesting. S17 did pretty well at talking to people and they to him, although he said he'd never seen so many people with sticks up their behinds in one room! [That's what you get when you work in a brokerage firm.]

S17 was seeted during dinner (assigned seats) next to a coworker of mine that I have mentioned before on this board I think. [I'll call him JN]. This is the guy that "owes me" a couple of drinks and a lunch. He is the one who drives his daughter and friends to the midnight showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show the first Saturday of every month. He says he never imagined actually helping his D16 dye her hair green, or buying lingerie to wear in public, but he actually has done so! And he generally just parks the car by the library and circles the block walking for 2 hours while she and her friends are in the theater. {Now that's a dedicated dad!}. Anyway, he seems to be a remarkable guy and he makes me laugh.

On the way home, S17 said that he really like JN and that that was the type of guy I needed and that I should give up on H. He said that he thinks H is just stringing me along and not really "trying" in our MC sessions and spending time together, and that H is only buying time to get into a better financial position (he is up for a promotion at work) so he can keep the "dream house" even though H promised me we would sell it if we split.

S17 said that H does not respect me and doesn't think he ever will. S17 said that he has been in the room when OW has said stuff like I am "crazy" and that H never stood up for me. S17 said he loves H, but that H is not the man he thought he was, and that he is a liar and cheat and has said point blank that he only wants to be selfish. He had completely dropped D24 and me emotionally, and has threatened the same with S17. That fact is the truth.

S17 said that it was obvious that JN was "interested" in me. I don't know that I see that because he is very friendly and outgoing with everyone and I don't see that he treats me any differently. In a way it's sad, because others are put off by JN's open personality and he is very eccentric, but he is definitely an independent thinker and not one to follow leader and he is very outspoken about his ideas. But I respect and admire that. Remember I work in a very stuffy environment.

So, I had a good time at the party, but now I am really confused!!!

I have a thought about going into MC this week and telling H about S17's allegations and asking him to provide something in writing (notarized) that says he will sell the "ranch" that we planned and built together using loans from my retirement plan like he has promised he would do. And if he doesn't do I, I will file for divorce now. I even thought about having S17 and D24 there to air their true feelings (i.e. a sort of intervension) and see how H responds.

But then I think that that is a crazy idea and way too heavy handed and would definitely pressure him out the door! But, I don't want to be taken advantage of! I know that H would have to buy me out of my equity in the house but that doesn't address the emotions I have about doing all that for him. I was the one that said "Yea, lets go look" and "Maybe we can afford it...". H would never have done it on his own.

I don't know what to do!! HELP!!

I won't be on the board for a while because we are leaving for the Bill Engval show, but I'll try to be back on later tonight....

Thank you all for your encouragement!! (((((((hugs)))))))