Hopeful Husband just like you my sitch is almost identical to yours. Together six and half years married four and half. I have heard all the same things and got all the same responses from my wife, almost exactly the same. My wife left in April. I am aware of my mistakes being controlling, not affectionate enough are the main two. I love my wife more than she knows and we started off the same as you. Now this is the case and well be the hardest and I mean hardest thing to do because of all of the pain and circumstances, but you must take your marriage to God and lay it at the alter before him and trust in him. This is difficult to do, difficult to stick with, I will not lie to you. The problem is that our relationships are in spiritual warfare. We screwed up and left the door cracked open for satan to enter and now our wives have fallen into his traps, tricks, and scheems. I am near signing papers at this point. I know she is seeing someone else and I believe living with him at this point. It bothers me, I don't like it, but in my heart I have forgiven her and would take her back to spend the rest of my life with her. You must start reading your bible daily, tithing, and fast when need be. Your eyes will have to be on Jesus and not all your circumstances. You will have to start out having faith and grow your faith, I won't lie to you none of this is easy in the beginning. Satan wants to keep you focused on all that is wrong so that he can steal your peace and joy. He wants nothing more than to steal, kill, and destroy your marriage. You are the husband and you have authority in prayer and can take dominion over this situation. Right now satan has got you so down you feel like there is no hope just where he wants you. If you want to stand for your marriage get prepared for a LONG journey with lots of ups and downs, days when you are feeling great and days when you feel like giving up again and asking yourself if it is all worth it, but do you really want to spend your life with her, if so then don't be surprised by how long and hard this can be. One constant reminder is that God is in control. Now satan will constantly attack you with doubt and have you looking at all the impossible, but with God all things are possible. You need to go to rejoicemarriageministries.org and sign up for there daily emails. Also go to joycemeyer.org and watch her daily tv programs. On the rejoice marriage ministries web site go to the restored marriages tab and read through the testamonies there. There are 25 pages so the is a lot to read but they are uplifting and encouraging. Find a couple people that will stick with you to stand for your marriage. You will probably see people come and go even family, but someone will support you. If you feel like you can't give up it is most likely because God has called you to be the stander. Standing at times can be a daily struggle, but run to God when you get week, satan will come and go, but be assured he will always come back. I have read that what God has started he will finish for he cannot lie and he keeps to his word. You are about to learn a lot, things that you will feel so stupid that you wish you had seen or done it the other way before. Like you my wife and I were well on our way up fast in a short four and half years, making good progress. I did some of the same things her thinking I was over protective I guess you could say, but really I just cared about her and love her so much that I didn't want anything bad to ever happen to her. There were times at night in bed when she was asleep that I would look over at her and just think about how bad I would miss her if she passed before me or if she were killed in an accident. I love her with all my heart and God knows my heart. I want my marriage restored and my the wife of my youth back in my arms, she is an amazing woman, I love her, I love her. Anyway don't let satan steal your wife, get focused. Read Ephesians 6 and read the entire book of Job. Love you brother, stay strong and seek God.
