b]The responses I received are to set scheduled weekends for her to take the kids. [/b] But is this fair to the kids ? , It's just harder on the kids being shuffled back and forth, they are confined to an apartment where you cannot run and have fun (be kids). All they do over there is watch TV or go shopping. They don't get home cooked meals, they go out to eat (according to what the kids tell me).
Well, welcome to the divorced world. I think that's how it often works out. To me that sounds like a lot of rationalizing so you can work things out the way you really want them to be. This is how separation and divorce is. My kids get taken off to H's apartment every weekend, keeps them around OW and her kids, and he takes them out to eat most of the time (as he does too), they watch TV, go shopping, and to the movies. But they get to see their dad so that is the good part. I get a 24 hour break each week which after 15 years of parenting is probably a good idea for me too. I can get stuff done, recharge my batteries, etc.
You are guessing at your W doing a lot of stuff you won't approve of, well like exposing them to OP is something that will probably happen whether you set up a schedule or not. Also if she acts irresponsibly with them (as she has before) or gets a babysitter often, I think at that point you could address those issues, unless you believe she is truly dangerous of course. I do think it will be good for your W to have consequences and all that and realize that kind of stuff. I think she needs them. I do understand your desire to get her to agree to custody arrangements that will be good for you; do you think for some reason her having a set schedule of when to see the kids will be a problem for her that would make her more difficult to deal with? I mean, I think set schedules are 99% of the time done when one is divorced and separated, so don't understand that. If she has a set schedule, she shouldn't make plans to party or whatever that require her to hire a babysitter. I mean if she gets the kids one or 2 weekends a month she can't just spend time with them and cut down her party time? I mean the way you discuss her and treat her almost like she is another child. I think it would be good for you to treat her more like adult-adult, if you think she is even a tiny bit capable of acting like one anyway.... Karen
