It's Complicated!

[SirPrizeMe]

GG - you are putting forth a good effort. you just hang in there. I caught up with the past week's activities and reports. Here's what I see:

• your H sounds like an authoritarian. If he says, Go buy a box of chocolates, and you decline, he gets huffy. Well, in my house, that would be a cause for me to get up and smile, laugh, and then buy the box of chocolates myself. And my wife might have even made that direct suggestion to me, a bit impolitely. He does not seem to treat you as an equal.
• you are pushing the R talks. Saying that you would rather have him home and in bed with you, saying you have needs. GG, we know you have needs, and he is vaguely aware you have needs. But he is not yet in a position to discuss them. You NEED to discuss these things, but NOT RIGHT NOW. What I mean is, you must be thoughtful about when to raise these things, and not do it opportunistically, or in the heat of the moment. Consider when it would be a good time to raise it, and do it then. In counseling? After a quiet dinner? etc etc. Also consider how to raise it. Obliquely? Directly? There is a guy I know who is a master at dropping gentle hints to his wife. He will hint and hint and hint, very gently. And then only later will he directly raise the issue. Would this work for you?
  Maybe consider just deferring the conversation completely, until later. Look for progress in other ways, and wait til you feel more secure about things before raising the "I have needs" conversation.

I know nothing, these are just suggestions and ideas.

PlentyHope - tell me more about this Love and Respect book and the theory around laundry. I used to be a guy who helped out quite a lot around the house. a TON. Diapers, cleaning toilets, laundry, ironing, dishes. "help around the house" is not the right phrase. Can you tell me the theory in the book.

[glamgirl]

Comfort in the Storm Cont

Peace comes when there is no cloud between us and God. Peace is the consequence of forgiveness, God's removal of that which obscures his face and so breaks union with him.

Peace comes from being in a close relationship with God - it is his gift to us.

[glamgirl]

Comfort in the Storm Cont.

God's simple words to his children when they are bombarded with the cares of this world are, "Be still and know that I am God."

There is time for action, but first we must stand and rest in his presence.

What worries you today?

What problems must you solve?

What must you get done?

Will you pause first for a moment to quiet yourself before God?

[glamgirl]

Ok had a really great day with h today. He was excited to see us and take his family bowling for one of his work events.

We had pizza and then bowled all afternoon. Now I am not a bowler, it's sheer luck if I get a strike or a spare, or knocking down any pin. I am not really a sports kind of girl, I might break a nail, but I did fine.

I had forgotten how much fun bowling was. The pumping jamming music with videos and oh yeah trying to bowl.

Now my h is really competitive and he says hey Glam let me show you how it's done. Of course, he walks up and first try gets a strike. Go figure.

I do admit he looked pretty sexy with that stance and his guy gestures after he got a strike. He just reminded me so much of who I fell in love with. Falling in love all over again with my h.

H held my hand in the car on the way to bowling and on the return. H was so proud of me and the kids and enjoyed introducing us to his co-workers.

He is coming over on sunday to help with the kids and we have holiday pictures scheduled for the kids.

Now if I can just keep the patience. Not sure why I am so impatient about h moving home. It just seems like a m couple should not live apart period. I guess that is really what I struggle with.

[glamgirl]

Thanks Sir for stopping by and giving me a fresh perspective. You are so right, watch my mouth and everything doesn't need to be so pressing.

I have always been the type of person that when I want something I want it NOW. I guess that is probably what is the most difficult for me.

If I wanted something I just made it happen, well guess what I can't just make h move home, but I can continue to draw him in and let him know his family is here for him and supports him.

[glamgirl]

Comfort in the Storm Cont

God has not promised us a life free from trouble and challenges. But he has promised us his presence and strength. When you turn to him in total reliance and trust, God's spirit provides you with a supernatural freedom from worry, anxiety and fear.

To experience peace, you need not try harder, but simply trust more.

Trusting God offers greater peace than any wordly comfort - and enables you to find the confidence and strength you need by leaning your ENTIRE weight on God.

We wish and strive for God's most precious gifts - peace, joy, forgiveness, and love - when all along he has told us that we will find these gifts only when we first seek him.

If you would be happy and content, don't race down the paths of pleasure and human endeavor, though they make such bold promises. Rather, simply ask God to allow you to experience him more fully. Happiness and contentment will then sneak up on you when you least expect it.

[glamgirl]

I do have to point out that it was probably a meer 6 months ago that I tried to hold h's hand in the car and he reluctantly held it but he was full of cold and ice and as soon as he changed the radio station or something he dropped it.

Now prior to all of this h and I always held hands in the car.

I do see this as progress. Today h was the one that reached out to me and fully embraced my hand. He seemed to really enjoy us today.

I miss my h so much. I can't wait until one day he will be warming our bed once again. Not sure if that will be anytime soon. It's cold and I could really use a bed partner these days.

[MidwesternGirl]

GG

Just pray for more patience as this all takes time, a heck of a lot of time as you know.

Little by little, your H is moving closer and closer to you. When the time is right, he will be there to fulfill your needs and at that time, will it feel and be special.

[SirPrizeMe]

You stick with it - remember the good stuff, like Bowling. Stay patient and I know you will reach your goal.

[Maya44]

It all sounds promising GG. Like Sir said, keep thinking of the good things happening around you.