So, I missed part of his text messages last night. He sent several, but I only saw one until now. Here's how it went.
8:08 PM, 1st text: ---"Hope it was ok that I took a good bit of stuff. I'll pick up more stuff Sunday. When are you busy Sunday I got plans too but I'll be free evening/night."
8:09 PM, 2nd text: ---"Also what day again for us to go down to Comcast?"
8:09 PM, 3rd text: ---"Sorry to keep bothering you."
And then he called at 8:11 and 9:43.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM? Why is he being such an a**?
First of all, if I did care that he took a bunch of his s***, what the Hell could I do about it? I have ZERO f***ing power in this situation. He had the affair. He had the problems he didn't talk about. He gave up. He asked for the divorce. He moved out and got a place.
Why hurt me like this? Why? Why become another person? It's so f***ing pointless, although I suppose it makes it easier on him - the person I knew would not be able to live with himself. It's not like I'm fighting him, and he should know that if he does piss me off enough, it's just gonnna get ugly. He knows how ugly I can get.
Seriously, I have to accept that this alien has no love or respect for me regardless of what I hear in his voice, see in his eyes, and most of all, regardless of the things he wrote and the words he's said.
I have to wonder if it's the OW in his ear, his friends, his fickleness, his family - or all four. I just want to shake him and say that just because we're getting a D it doesn't mean he has to be a giant a**hole.
And yay, he's busy Sunday. Good for him. I get it. He's out with his slut and jazzing up his bachelor pad. Good for him. Why rub it in my f***ing face. Not to mention he's the one that suggested noon on Sunday. He hardly had any attention span or memory when we were married, and now it's a 100 times worse.
And the Comcast thing? Are you kidding me? I told him yesterday that we'd do it sometime next week. What the f*** is the rush? What the f*** is his problem?
Will someone please give me a ray gun so that I can zap the f***ing alien that is destroying my life.
So the more I think about this, the more I know I need to set boundaries and stop accomodating him. He can come when it's convenient for me. I am SICK of being accomodating. I am sick of dealing with this alien that abducted the person I knew. The person I knew had my respect and love and patience - I would work with that person. THIS person is going to work on my f***ing timetable.
He needs to get all of his s*** on Sunday. None of this coming day-by-day bulls***. We can go to Comcast when I f***ing feel like going. We will decide about the house and car when I am ready.
I'm tired of playing his games. I am sick and tired of making this easy for him.
I'm not telling him any of this until I cool down, but there it is.
I am a strong woman, and I will not be played for a fool.
~Nas
P.S. And I'm still sad, which sucks. I just want to shake him and tell him to stop stabbing me in my heart already. i get it. He's done. He's moving on. What, does he want a f***ing cookie?
