Aussie Girl - Patience might finally be paying off

[One Day]

((((Future Girl))))

Sorry I missed your anniversary, but I'm so glad that you were feeling stronger about it this year than last. That's good news at least.

Why I cant meet someone new so that I could forget about H.?

Take it from me- meeting someone new won't stop you thinking about H. It's a nightmare! LOL!

Anyway I called H and he offered to come straight away and help - which he did (he is nice and handy to have around sometimes!).

That's great that H came over straight away. Is he an Acts of Service person? I wonder if there's some way of working that into your DBing a bit more? I know it was pretty successful in the past when you asked for his help......

Bad thing was I was sweaty dressed in crappy clothes and covered in mud!

I bet you looked super-hot anyway!

To distract H from the mess I suggested we have a swim - which was nice and we ended up having sex in the pool (was fun, but several times I thought this is a bit strange that I'm with H and we are having sex in the pool in the middle of the day!!) - Bizarre!

So jealous! That sounds great- do you think it helped that he felt manly and was responding to you as the damsel in distress? or am I making it more romantic than it was?

Its so nice when I see him and we have so much fun together, but I instantly get clingy and dont want him to go.

I was just wondering, have you ever told H that you'd like him to stay? What happened? I always get the sense with your H that he's a bit hesitant to push things forward and take the initiative, and I wonder if he's scared that you don't want him.....I do think it's fantastic that he initiated the physical contact, but wonder if you could do some of that back aswell? If PT is another of his love languages, it might help? Not doubt you've already tried that, though- DB Queen! I agree that it's a difficult line to walk between being encouraging and not coming on too strong, but I do think you're doing a good job. I struggle with this myself, so am probably not the best person to advise.... (sorry!)

He also asked if he could take the CD's of our travel photos (we traveled around the world for 18 months) cause he wanted something to look at at home. I'm not sure what that means.

I think that's pretty interesting- will you give them to him? I think it'd be good for him to be looking at the pics and thinking of you when he's not with you. He obviously is remembering your good times together. I think that's a great sign!

We also have weird conversations about guys liking me, and I told him I'm going to Cirque Solei tonight and he said "can I ask who with?", and then asked me what I thought of his best mate and if he was good looking. (Its like I want to scream - 'You dummy, I love you!').

Hmmm...... what was the answer to the first question? And did you consider sayng to him that you don't know about his mate because you only have eyes for him? Or something to that effect? You could try saying it in a jokey way, which would encourage the puppy in a laughing friendly way without coming on too strong. I wonder if he's testing you in some way?

I also wonder if it's worth not mentioning the cave thing any more? or referring to him as a dork. I know it was said in a jokey way, but men have fragile egos, don't they, so he might not be able to handle that kind of thing very well. I know my H is very sensitive to any silly jokey-ness. He can only handle teasing about being a stud!

Well its not really, it comes down to I like him and like being with him and want to see him more often, in some sort of pattern that I can anticipate and feel more secure. He's not sure what he wants, he like being with me, but not if its too risky, so he doesnt call me. And if there is too much intimacy then he has to pull away.

Have you considered having a conversation with him about wanting to see him more often at all? I know it's not in the B*tch book, but I do think that piecing after an S is a different situation to a new dating scenario, and requires more gentle handling. H needs to step up a bit if he wants to win you back, but he might not know exactly how to do that..... (?)

I think you're sounding great, Essie. Very strong and very thoughtful. I LOVE that!

L. xx

PS. Sorry for the mammoth post!