RTL, You mentioned your XW drinking while you were going through the D occasionally. It sounds like it was a much bigger factor. Well, it is like my sitch, when you try to get in the way of someone's addiction, the addiction wins unless they truly want to kick it. It would also explain while XW found it necessary to constantly vilify you. She may have a strong bond with the BF because they share an addiction but eventually it will destroy both of them and you will be ready to take over with D. It is wonderful that you have such a great R with her and she feels safe telling you her thoughts.
