Purr sorry you are feeling so down tonight. The holidays are tough and I am sure the one year reminder doesn't help.
You will need to get yourself out of this rut you are in. I know the hurt and pain you are going through. I think I cried everyday for at least a year straight.
It does get better. Try to not focus on the life your w has without you. Focus on how you can make your life better.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"