Yes, I think our girl here is sounding much stronger! I saw that flirty little michief come out in you! That is what your H needs to see also......and spike it up with a touch more spunk! I think men like that and it gives you a leverage to also stand up to him by being a bit sexy/sassy/spunky all rolled into one. Now, I think that is the natural side of you that I saw in your fun you were having with......oh, you know.....our friend (lol) loss of memory here and so that told me a lot about you b/c the more he kidded with you, the more you went back and forth with him. We all knew it was just fun on both sides. So, with your H.....when you are able, of course, try to be that fun spirited/spunky person and if he says something ugly.....get in his face about it and you might even try to start out in a teasing/sexy/joking way and say, "What are you going to do about it, big boy?" Or whatever would me closer to your personality with him. If he doesn't respond nicely, then get serious. Turn around and leave him standing there. You may even say, "Fine, I will go be with someone that will appreciate my good humor and we'll have fun". (If you dare, it cold make him hit you, for all I know. I certainly wouldn't want that and only you know what you could get away with....but you don't have to just take his "mood"....you can turn around a just leave without a word.) When things have been strained for a long time and tension is thick in the air.....it is very hard to act like a lot of "fun". But, it is acting "as if" you are having fun. If you are trying to outshine the OW (and please forgive me if I have gotten mixed up with my stitches or forgotten something else), then you want to be the one he has fun with. You want to be a person he wants to come home to relax, have fun, and make love to. Instead, he apparently has decided to take his anger or bad moods out on you and turn to OW for the nice things. That isn't going to do! But, we have to walk that yellow brick road to find the wizard to get that respect. Although, now that I recall that story......the good witch told Dorothy it wasn't the wizard that could give her what she wanted. But that Dorothy had had that power within herself to go find her way back home--all that time. She just had to believe. Remember? So, click those heels baby and start believing in yourself b/c you have what it takes to not only draw your man back to you, but to cause him to see you with new eyes and respect his gal. He will have to learn to take his stress out somewhere else.
Have you ever thought of buying him one of those heavy punching bags that boxer's use? They have to use boxing gloves or they hurt their hands. But, it helps to get that anger out of their system. Or, if he would go to the gym after work before going home, that would be a great stress reliever. I know you would have to be cleaver in how to approach that subject (regarding the gym)b/c he could take it about any negative way he wanted to. But, you may want to consider getting him one of those bags for Christmas and hang it up outside, in the garage, basement....wherever. Wonder what he would think if he opened that for his present? It would be something different!
When you were describing him, it did make me think of some personality types I have known like him and unfortunately, a lot of them have wives who cow down to their bullying ways. I hate it. I still think they do it b/c the wife is the only one they know can't defend themselves. HEY!! I just had a brilliant idea! Why not get yourself that boxing bag instead of him?? Or, better yet, take some self-defense classes. I hear they do wonders for women's self-esteem!! I am serious! If I were younger and in better health, I would do it in a second. I think it does wonders for women b/c they feel so good physically, but they are so more confident about themselves and they are not afraid of anyone b/c they know how to take care of themselves if attacked. Now, I am not saying he attacks you, but I just think it would be a great method of improving your confidence. You know you need to do things to get a life instead of sitting at home wondering what he may be doing......so why not? PLEASE? I hope you will seriously consider it. Give it to yourself for a present. Oh, and if you should decide to start adding kick boxing to it.....then hang the boxing bag up where you can show out in front of H after you get good at it. Just to let him see what a fiesty girl he has there. Now, I don't know about you, but I just love my idea Did you ever see that movie with Jennifer Lopez where she took those self defense classes? Showed him, didn't she? Oh, my! I just over-whelm myself somtime.
Guess I better close with that statement. We have to act crazy once in a while, don't we? But, now I am serious about those classes. Hopefully, you would never have to use any of those techniques, but the point it that you would not be afraid to walk across a parking lot alone or stand up to a 6'5", 300 lb man and tell him to shove it! That is the kind of self confidence you need to get your esteem soaring again.
Okay, talk to you latter. Tell me when you sign up for your classes....
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
and so that told me a lot about you b/c the more he kidded with you, the more you went back and forth with him. We all knew it was just fun on both sides. So, with your H.....when you are able, of course, try to be that fun spirited/spunky person and if he says something ugly.....get in his face about it and you might even try to start out in a teasing/sexy/joking way and say, "What are you going to do about it, big boy?" Or whatever would me closer to your personality with him. If he doesn't respond nicely, then get serious. Turn around and leave him standing there. You may even say, "Fine, I will go be with someone that will appreciate my good humor and we'll have fun". (If you dare, it cold make him hit you, for all I know. I certainly wouldn't want that and only you know what you could get away with....but you don't have to just take his "mood"....you can turn around a just leave without a word.) When things have been strained for a long time and tension is thick in the air.....it is very hard to act like a lot of "fun". But, it is acting "as if" you are having fun. If you are trying to outshine the OW (and please forgive me if I have gotten mixed up with my stitches or forgotten something else), then you want to be the one he has fun with. You want to be a person he wants to come home to relax, have fun, and make love to. Instead, he apparently has decided to take his anger or bad moods out on you and turn to OW for the nice things. That isn't going to do! But, we have to walk that yellow brick road to find the wizard to get that respect. Although, now that I recall that story......the good witch told Dorothy it wasn't the wizard that could give her what she wanted. But that Dorothy had had that power within herself to go find her way back home--all that time. She just had to believe. Remember? So, click those heels baby and start believing in yourself b/c you have what it takes to not only draw your man back to you, but to cause him to see you with new eyes and respect his gal. 
He will have to learn to take his stress out somewhere else. 
Did you ever see that movie with Jennifer Lopez where she took those self defense classes? Showed him, didn't she? 
Oh, my! I just over-whelm myself somtime. 
