So, I think some part of me is accepting that he's cheating on me. I honestly have not let it sink in until now.
He is cheating on me.
He is with another woman.
He is putting another woman before me.
He is leaving because he wants to be with another woman.
He is thrilled by this other woman for a million reasons.
Right now, I cannot compete with that. I have to accept it and let it die. The man that I knew - my friend, my "good guy" - is dead. If he ever existed, he has exited stage left.
I am no longer dealing with the man I knew for 11 years. I am dealing with a stranger that is living in his body.
I care about the man I knew. I do not care about this stranger.
He is no one to me.
Right now, I feel as though he doesn't even exist. I cannot allow him to continue to hurt me. I am not some weak person that things happen to. I am better than that.
Folks, right now I want the D. I can't believe that I ever thought I could live with something like this.
The thought of even being in the same space as him makes me sick. I can't believe that I hugged him, kissed him, f***ed him. I can't believe that I've tried to reason with him.
Who cares? Let him go have a s*** pathetic life. Let him go throw it all away because he lacks wisdom and good common sense. Let him try to feel like a big man because he's never been bigger than me.
And he can't be. A real man would never have had to run to a less successful, weaker woman to feel like a man.
Let him look at my life and wish he could have lived it with me.
