Hey, everyone! Well, the plot thickened. He called me at lunch. I didn't pick up.
He then texted me: ---"Can I please pick up some things?"
Well, I had to call him back because text wasn't working on my stupid phone and I had to talk to him because I had to make sure my mom left the house before he got there. The last thing I want is a run-in with my mom.
So I called. I told him my mom was leaving and it was fine. He said he was sorry for being such a pain and that he'd stop bugging me. He said he just needed to stop by and get his other wallet.
Someone explain to me why the f*** his other wallet can't wait until Sunday?
Ok, so I accept he's pushing my buttons. I have no idea WHY, but I accept it. Probably just because he's a prick.
So I need to pull back. OK. Fine. My friends are suggesting that I tell him to make sure he gets all of his stuff on Sunday, to go through the list of stuff to be done beforehand with him, and to not be there on Sunday.
I don't know. Maybe I should be there to make sure he doesn't take any of my s***. Haven't decided yet.
Everyone keeps telling me that I need to let him see me angry. That I need to make him feel like s***. I think I probably just need to avoid him and let him think I don't care.
I don't know how to take back control. If I take control and get stuff done, then we'll be done (maybe not such a bad thing, but whatever). If I take control and do more of the same, then it's more of the same (not sure I care at this point). If I keep getting nagged by him, I am gonna lose my cool.
MC, I guess you're right. I need to not answer. I need to drag my feet and do s*** when I feel like it. You asked if all of this needs to get done right now. In a way, it does just because the bills have to get switched to my name so that he can set up his account. I know I shouldn't care, but if he wanted to be a jerk he could shut off the cable and the water. And since I don't want things to get ugly to protect myself (he could try to get alimony, for example, since I make significantly more money), I'm try not to go there.
I need a drink....
~Nas
Nas -
He used the "wallet" to get you on the rope again. DON'T ANSWER HIM (right away). Make him wait. Text or call back LATER. Don't speed up or increase the D or drama!
He's pushing your buttons, not because he is a prick, but because he wants you to stay on his rope. Drop the rope... It is not going to instantly turn around, but you will speed up your process!
My W could have taken me to court to get temp child support /atty fees , but for some reason she waited until now. I think it is because they aren't really even thinking about the D process or finances... they are just living the "good life" with OP. If you drop the rope and he feels that he doesn't have you to fall back on, he will realize what the OP is really like.
Don't listen to your friends. Have they read DB or DR? Listen to your friends here at db.com.
I have been where you are right now. I think from this point forward you should use at least the 24 hour rule. He will call, not text if it is an emergency.
Your gut will lead you in the wrong direction. You are a smart person and you think acting rationally will help, but you need to DB!!
Hope you followed all that. You need to take back control. You run the show. Trust me, you do.
