I'm not good at conveying emotion through e-mail so please bear with me because I have some difficult things to say to you:
1. Are you over-analysing what your husband is telling you? Who knows how much fun he's going to have in NYC. He could just as easily be putting on a brave face because you've sounded and looked so together lately.
I frequently find out (after the fact) that my h sometimes builds up what he is doing - to make himself feel better, probably. It's not easy for them either, really. They just don't want us to know at this point how hard it is for them.
2. If you had more of your own social plans is it possible this might bother you less?
3. One of the toughest DBing techniques for me is being my h's friend. That means that sometimes I get to hear about his giddy whirl of a social life. Like last night... and today (which is his 50th bday and hurts like heck for me). I try to tell myself that it's a good thing that my h shares this kind of stuff with me... it means that he is starting to trust me again, that he feels safe with me again.... still hard, I know. I haven't been able to do a stitch of work yet today and will probably pay for that through the weekend while I try to catch-up.
Your h, like mine, probably isn't the kind of guy who would tell you about "having fun" to make you feel bad. I don't believe that of my h. They're telling us for some other reason...not that we should be analysing that much anyway!
4. You are not, absolutely are not, anything less than an amazing woman for your dbing efforts. He's trying to take care of himself too right now, in the best way he knows how at this time. If he can really, really learn how to take care of himself and be healthier, he'll end up being a better partner for you. And you deserve that!
It's Friday... can you go home early and do something nice for yourself? I've called up a friend to come over and do Christmas baking with me tonight... just not an evening I want to be alone!
