sl, Do not call your h unless it is an absolute emergency. He'll never miss you if you call him. Your h is still in the oven and isn't quite half baked yet. He's just really getting started into the crisis and needs to continue to spread his winds for a while. A year isn't quite enough time for the rose colored glasses to come off, but they will in time.
Your h is very selfish and self centered. You shouldn't allow him or the ow to have any head space right now. You are a wonderful person and do not allow him to bring you down. You are a far better person than that woman. So, leave him out there and allow her to deal w/him and his emotional upheaval for now.
His comment about a place to live is typical mlc lingo. Not thinking with the proper head at the moment.
You asked YR about flirting. Unless the opportunity presents itself, I wouldn't. When you do try it, keep your expectations at zero and be prepared for a possibility of some hurtful comments or body language from him. He's just not at that point where I would say to try it 100% yet. If he were making more contact w/you, I'd say go for it. I personally think it's going to take at least another year before he even starts reconnecting w/his sons.
While he's out traveling the universe, keep the focus on you and your sons. I know you love the man and want him home, but sl, you do not want him home like this. It's time to make a list of things that you would like to do, but never had the opportunity to do. Stay busy and put a rubber band on your wrist. Whenever you start to think about them, snap that band!
I'm sorry you are here, but I do think he's got a ways to go.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
