If you do not want the D, then don't act like you are a willing participant. Let him know that you are against the D; but if HE files you will not stop him. He needs to know that you are standing for your M; if indeed you are.
Thanks again, Tom. It makes so much sense and seems so obvious. Darn those muddy waters....
The next time he brings up the D and mentions that he wants us to go together to split the cost, should I tell him I can't do that morally or emotionally but that I understand his need to do so?
In the past, right when everything happened, I told him that I reserved the right to file. In an attempt to save money, he wants us to go together so I don't pay all by myself - and I'm sure in order to save himself as well. I haven't outright said what I'm going to do yet because I was afraid that if I said that he needs to file that he'll go do it tomorrow. He's like that. So I've been stalling - saying I need more time (which I do) - and telling him that we'll look at doing it in January once I get my plan formed.
So space, I am giving him. Got it. Need to give more.
Boundaries - I guess in our sitch it would be needing more time, no OW talk (that's gonna kill me), and no sex (that's gonna kill me even more).
Validate - got that.
Friendly but not a friend - ouch. Trying. I am soooo trying.
Go out and GAL - wow, it is so hard. I feel so exhausted by everything to even consider it, but you're right. I know.
Thanks again, Tom. May God bless you and keep you. I hope you and the kids have a great day!
