I don't want to pretend to you or others here that socializing is always easy. I had my first post-separation social gathering at my home last Friday evening. There were some couples there and it was tough. Some of them knew my h and me as a couple, and it felt kind of empty. I cried after everyone left. Even getting ready for the party, there were small things... like having only half of the serving dishes (we've divided all of the joint property). So, it's not easy, but it can be helpful. It's also one of my 180s. Somehow in the past few years I think my h developed this idea of me as not being social enough. That's not really true but certainly the "lack" in our marriage for a few years made me react by withdrawing somewhat, even from friends. So I'm trying to fix that.
To SMW as well as Beth - the legal training is both an advantage and disadvantage, as far as I can see. It does help me to be very solution-oriented and focused, but it doesn't leave much room for emotion. I'm working on that since I think my career-focus got in the way of having the depth and breadth of emotional connection in my m that I want and am capable of having(another 180 in progress!).
At the same time, being solution-oriented can tip over into control issues so it's an interesting balance. As I learn the importance of detachment in all my relationships, my control issues seem to be evaporating, truly. And there's a freedom that I wish I had discovered and trusted years ago. It's rocking a few of my close relationships and I guess I'll just have to watch to see what effects it may have in my m.
