Yikes.... hit submit instead of checking the post!
It's sounds good that your ex wife is on more stable footing and that the new guy is grounding her. The rift between her and your daughter is something she hs to deal with and heal.
Your little girl had to do some fast growing up with her mother's aberrant behavior and needs to know she's safe and can be a kid. Well.. that's just what I think.. a counselor would know better. Kids come first.. period.
