I am taking any R for what it is and not getting emotionally involved. I mean, I was with another girl last Saturday and I'm just having fun, not sleeping with people etc, but it helps the old confidence.
Not sure about Charms or luck, I'm just being myself, that person that got lost for a few years being what STBX wanted. It's funny though that being nice to someone going through this seems to not help them and their sitch but clouds there thinking and draws them closer. It's not deliberate or any sort of ploy by me, it's just me. When I like people, friends or whatever, I'll offer my thoughts on things as I see it for their good. With MOT35, it seems that makes me a more attractive proposition.
Yeah, starting over is tough, I'm just living the rest of 08 as a fun party time and I have 3 days off next week, then the days between xmas and new year of when I will start to work on things for Jan 09. A To Do list is first and top of that will be getting myself in financial order and to start saving half my wages whilst I'm still at my parents.
I'm very positive for my future and my involvement in my boys lives. I have them again all day Saturday so have already planned for a trip to the garden centres where they love all the xmas stuff they set up. Then to a couple of shops for them to choose something for their mum and also for me to get her a little something. I'm doing this as going to be there xmas morning and know S6 will think it odd and maybe question why I've not got her anything. Not bothered if I get anything in return, it's not for her, more for the boys.
Got a meeting with the Bank Manager this afternoon so hoping that we can change our mortgage with all these rates dropping as we are on a fixed rate. As I will likely have to pay 1/2 of it for the forseeable future, I need to reduce it as much as I can.
Roll on 2009. There is the Chinese years, but we should all have our own next year. The year of the LBS....Head up, shoulders down, confidence and time to really sort myself out. Take this as the kick I needed to become the person and father I know I can be and really want to be. Quit smoking, stop drinking as much and get some motivation.
