Thanks for checking in G! Sports talk is all gibberish anyway![/qoote]
I'm framing that and putting it on the wall!
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Things are pretty good I guess. X's BF has been primary issue with all the kids over the last few weeks but I think that I've grown comfortable in how I handle it with them. I guess that is why I wish X had given me a heads up, so I could mentally prepare myself on how to discuss it with the kids. All is good now and I think I'm doing a good job of being there for the kids, especially with this issue.
Why not ask her to do that in advance..
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Middle daughter (D14) called me crying last night saying she wanted to move in with me because of her Mom and how she acts. I talked her down from the ledge and I think I had her feeling good about things by the end of the convo.
Good daddy!!!!!!
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X picked up other line (she called from land line) and heard me say one sentence, "If you want to come stay with me just let me know ahead of time". She blurted out "REALLY!" and hung up. After convo I called her (1st time in about a week) and explained the context, explained to her that I was telling D14 that if she wanted to spend extra time with me then she would need to plan it with both her parents. This went well. Think X actually believed me instead of thinking I was an a$$hole.
Were you anything close to an a*hole? Do you think she's concerned about her actions.. interrupting/listening to a private conversation? Avoid the triangles. Keep it straight lines of communication.. you with your daughter, you with your ex-spouse. What's more important.. being a dad or smoothing your ex wife's feathers?
Dang .. this isn't coming out right..
I always felt I was in the wrong in some way in my marriage. I always worried about how I screwed up.. rather than even pondering to think that I was doing a good job. Over time I accepted blame as being a constant.. and that I was at fault. This past week, I'm watching spouse deplete our 401k, blaming me for causing this.. not the attorney he picked who's demanding it.
strange..
She went on to explain that the reason for the big blowout was that D14 was not treating her with respect, not treating her like a mother. She said that D14 told her that she hadn't been acting like a mother for awhile. X told her that she would from this point forward. I just listened and validated... Didn't want to discuss anymore than I had to.
So, I guess we are moving gingerly on in the new dynamic that is our family! I'm getting better with it each day, in a large part due to all the great people here. Have been doing better since I started hanging back out here again!
