p.s. I did the exact same things w/ my W. I didn't listen to the advice I was given (even though I wanted to) and my W is still going strong w/ the OM.
I even did a lot of the same things when we separated... pretended that she needed to get out, split everything, etc... but then I started backsliding when I wanted her back and she was caught up w/ OM (and I didn't know it yet). I would get frustrated about many of the same things you are... but you need to recognize right now that OW is clouding his judgement. Don't believe anything he says and only half of what he does. Remember that when he says or does something completely out of character... it is not him!
