You are going through the stages of grieving. It is COMPLETELY normal. You need to understand what those stages are, and DO NOT CONTACT your H.
I know you are getting advice from your Coach, but I think you need to make him feel the end of the relationship with you. Right now he knows you will be there if things don't work out with OW. You need to not contact him and try your best to keep YOUR life on track. When he sees you moving on, I think he will reconsider giving up on a M with a great woman such as yourself.
