That's what I was going to tell you earlier but I stopped short.
It is not until we KNOW that He loves us that we are able to trust in Him completely. For everything.
So strive to know that. It's okay to ask Him to show you. He'll show you in many ways if you have the eyes to see and I think that you do.
I actually do not consider myself "religious" at all. Religion requires the following of endless man-made rules and the constant reminder that we are not worthy. That is not of God. God is love, grace and mercy. He really only has one requirement of us and if you follow that, even all those commandments wouldn't be needed. They weren't actually rules you know...they were meant to be a mirror that showed us how impossible it is to live APART from Him. Think about it. Think of your life before you considered Him...did you covet? Did you envy? Did you kill (there are many ways to kill things)? Of course you did. We all did (and do). But WITH Him in our lives, while we are still not perfect - we have a much, much better "shot" at it, if you will. Because He lives THROUGH us. And God is love. Love does not do any of those things the commandments tell us not to do. Walk in love.
Makes sense to me.
So NO - I am not "religious". I'm just a believer. There are many things I do not know. But I do know something about God's grace and His mercy. And the struggle to receive them both. That I can talk about.
I keep a pretty current thread in the prayer forum that has seen a little bit of activity in the last month or so. Read if you like. Of course my older threads are all over the place. Some are even gone I've been here so long - LOL.
