I had to call H about pool equipment last night. He'd gone to the house the other day and messed with the equipment and it hasn't working right since. I needed it all to be in working order because we actually got about 1" of snow last night. VERY RARE for these parts.

Anyway, called H to ask what he'd done so I could see if I could put it back. H was cold and untalkative unlike earlier in the day. Sometimes H is an a$$ and others he is like my old H.

I called him this am to let him know how S16's x-ray went. His arm is all healed. He just needs to do some PT to strengthen it.

H said 'Well I guess S16 didn't have school today because of the snow.' I told him 'No, they had school.' He said 'I got the kids off to school on the bus and then got a call to come get them. Such $h!t having to have the parents go get them. They should have just closed the school the whole day.'

Mind you these are OW's kids NOT his. He talks like HE'S their father. H rarely did this for OUR boys. But, I held it tongue and didn't jump down his throat like I wanted to.

He asked what I was getting S's for Christmas and if I was going to take them back home for Christmas. I wish I could be I have no more vacation days and S16 won't give up a day of hunting.

H talks to me sometimes like we're friends and then other times like he wish I didn't exist.

This is SO hard on me. I have no family here other than my S's and H's family.

I miss H so much and want him back.

The holidays REALLY SUCK!!