You see Mike, that is why every woman here is so impressed by your gesture. You don't actually see this as a big deal. WE DO! I can honestly say that no man has EVER in my entire life done something that sweet and kind just because he knew it would make me feel good. You are a rare man indeed Mike. Actually, thinking about it, I don't know even 1 man that would do any of what you have done. You actually do get it don't you? The little gestures make us feel important to you men. That's all we ask. Not the big over the top, diamond encrusted (all though that's nice too), extravigant stuff.
which brings me back to this post..so the women here who have been exposed to DB..and who have changed can now see this?? Or know this?? Or do all women know this and I'm just in with the F**ktards?? who do not know?? I've just been unlucky?? See that's what gets me..not just Kim..I've done all this to some extent with every woman I've ever dated...more so with some than others..so I'm just dating F**cktards who do not get it?? or they really want more than the little gestures??
that's what spins in my head..LOL...ahh the madness of it all..
it seems to me ya better be a lucky bastid..that's all I figure..luck must play a big part.. makes no damn sense to me at all..
May I chime in here???
Seems to me that maybe you are viewing this from a very skewed place. You have been hurt (twice), and the reality is you probably have a very slighted view of marriage and what it takes to make it work.
Mike, the rality is that we are all learning how to be better partners for future relationships. You are not a fuckktard, you are simply a guy who is learning.
Through every failed marriage we learn how to become better partners. We learn how we should have acted, what we should have done, and who we should have been. At the same time we are learning how we will act, what we will do, and what we will be in the future.
On this board there are both men and women so neither sex has a leg up on the other. The only difference is our varying takes on things. Women tend to look at things from a perspective of their own failure and men tend to start off by analyzing the failures of our spouse prior to moving into the self recognition stage. Kind of gives women a leg up but they have always been smarter than us.
This:
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or she just used me to get Caleigh and her dream home..
now that sounded chitty didn't it...
anybody got a 2x4, shotgun, civil war sword to kill this "dead horse" that gets beat over and over and over???
Is such dribble that I wasn't even sure if I would address it, but since you asked for it I will go ahead.
You sound like a little kid in a daycare who just had another child take the dollie he was playing with. What the F gives you the idea that her motives where impure to start your marriage? She changed, yes, so did you. Reality is though the thoughts of why she did this will accomplish nothing for you and having them lead you down this pity pot BS road will certainly accomplish nothing.
As far as what actions and gestures work, I have taken this stance. I do what I want to do. Not for them, but simply because that's the guy I want to be. Your gesture was great, but guess what Mike, it was not neccesary. You could have simply texted her that you had a nice time and such and YOU would have been just as satisfied.
I believe the thing that stands out to me in all of this is that we men have a tendency to focus to much on what we think they want instead of focusing simply on what the right things to do for ourselves is. If I have a good time with a woman, I tell her so, if I walk by a florist and feel like sending her flowers, I do so, and if I feel like doing nothing, I do so.
My point in the very end is this, maybe, just maybe (insert voice of Jean Gerard from Talladega nights) all you need to focus on is a little more self confidence and the knowledge that you are a good man. Trust your decisions a little more Mike and you will not find yourself worrying about the reactions and results of them so much.
