HELP! I have never been more lost!

[Trixi]

Trippingbilly-
I don't really have any advice. You say you read Michelle's books, so you know that you are suppposed to Get A Life... They say that you should believe none of what you hear (from a WAS) and half of what you see.

She has cheated on you more than once; one time we could use the Ross&Rachel "we were on a break" excuse, the other time, there is no excuse.
The reason the snooping escalated, even when you didn't find evidence, is because the real issue is that you actually don't trust her. If you did, you wouldn't keep looking for the evidence. Some of it was a little self-indulgent on your part...But I am glad to hear it stopped. NoBODY likes to feel spied on.
You need to decide you can trust yourself to handle the outcome, no matter what it is.

She told you she doesn't like it when you are wimpy and break down, so don't do it. You can't control her. Do I think the Christmas party thing is a great idea? heck no! But, you can't control her- she is rebelling. Once you know you can handle the outcome NO MATTER WHAT, she will see a strong man; you will not feel the need to spy or control; you will be able to GAL for yourself that helps you grow as a person...

The WAS will do what they do. Find your inner strength. You should purchase some DB coaching. I have talked to Jody and I really like her. In fact, that is the first thing I would do if I were you.
Keep us posted!