I think I am going to lay low today; clean the house really good. Tomorrow a guy is coming over for lunch and to work on a puzzle with me. It's a 1000 piece puzzle of all sorts of 'game' things. (Dominoes, poker chips, cards, chess pieces, etc). He's a roofer I know and I have sent him some referrals. We're going to also be brainstorming on ideas to drum up business. (Door hangers, postcards, etc.) I do have a itty bitty, teeny weeny crush on him. He's about my age, divorced, older kids, cute, smart.
I have been listening to some CDs and the coach basically is teaching how to love yourself, quit overfunctioning, let the man be the man, get in touch with your feelings, etc. One of her biggest points is that until the man tells you he wants YOU, that you should keep your options open. IOW, don't be a girlfriend. Date as many guys as possible until you are a fiance/wife to one. Don't sleep with them all. It's okay to be exclusive with one person for sex, but don't cut off all the rest of your options. Wow, that is not reading very well....Actually, it sounds a lot like what my H proposed to me last summer-- that we would be phsyically exclusive and that "platonic dating" was ok. Being loyal to him, when he appears to only be loyal to me because he hasn't spotted something better, is foolish. The reason she suggests dating is to practice skills. Such as speaking using feelings; maintaining boundaries; flirting; leaning back and letting the guy do the work-- stuff that is much easier to do when you don't have a bunch invested and you don't 'care' what the guy thinks. Learn to be yourself and not walk on eggshells. ("dating" is lunch dates, coffee dates, maybe a movie, dinner-- light stuff. Keep it all low key.)
Hey Nik- did you ever come up with something "bigger" than you and your H to work on?
Me-43 H-46 M 12 yrs 7/09 T 15 2 grown kids bomb 7/05/07 H moved out 8/04/07 11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing
