Hey Babe, I Got Your Christmas Present Right Here.

[mishka422]

Yes, you're finding some of the F**cktards. The small gestures lead to the warm fuzzies. Let me give you an example.

A man brings his W flowers. His wife smiles, thanks him, hugs and kisses abound, she puts them in a vase in a prominent place. Nothing more is said about it. In the meantime, in her head she is thinking "wow, what a kind, considerate thing to do for me. I wonder what I can do for him that will show how much I love him." She is planning, constantly, for just the right thing, the right touch, the simple gesture. When she returns it, be prepared....watch for it. You might miss it, as most DAM's do. WATCH FOR IT! When it happens, acknowledge it! It might just be the warm snuggle on the couch while watching a favorite TV program when she could have been doing laundry or talking on the phone to friends. It might be more overt - can we say "extremely creative in the bedroom" when it's not usually in her nature. Appreciate it, tell her how it makes you feel. It doesn't require reciprocation, just appreciation.

Women need to hear the words, hear your thoughts, hear your feelings. You know how men always claim that women think men should know how we feel about something because, "You should just know."? Well, we will admit to you that we are not mind readers and if you feel a certain way about something - please tell us! TALK TO US!! We won't bite - unless you want us to.

Another example that I'll bet some here will concur with:

We have 1 man in our office. Yes, just one! We call him our token male. He is one of those hunting, fishing, man's man types. He's very sweet and funny about a lot of things but through and through a DAM in so many ways. He works in an office full of women. You would think he would learn from being surrounded by all of our talking. Nope!

About a week ago he made a comment about his wife saying that they have been M'd 10 years and you would think by now that she would have figured out that if she makes dinner and puts it on the table he will eat it. He doesn't care what it is. She knows there are a few things he won't eat and she doesn't make those things. He doesn't care what it is and yet she continues to ask him what he wants for dinner. I kid you not, 3 of us jumped in with "please just tell her what you want!!!!!!" You see, it's not a matter of what he likes and doesn't like. It's a matter of, "will you please make this decision and inject your opinion about our household?" We get tired of making all of these mundane decisions. Also, we told him that he needs to make sure to tell her if he really likes some dish she makes or if he doesn't like it at all then he needs to say kindly that maybe they shouldn't try that one again.

He seemed to take that information to heart. We'll see........

See what I mean Mike? It's the small things like giving us the information we ask for instead of just telling us "I don't care" or "whatever you decide is fine". It's respect, it's showing an interest, it's living life and making all the choices big and small together.