I'm not at all surprised that your H feels some relief about the job.
Yes, it does seem to have a lifting effect on him. He recently discovered that management was planning to cut out supervisors altogether and chop off their well-paid employees (my H was both). And so it goes...the rich get richer.
Most recent event:
Last night, H said that he was feeling the need to get out for a while, to go see some friends. He said that he’s been cooped up a little too much around here.
I, immediately, looked at him with an expression of “Yes, I know what you mean”. He then said “Yea I know, but this is new for me. You’re used to it”. (eerrrg.) I told him that I wasn’t, that it has always been difficult for me and that I too need social interaction just like anyone else.
His move to go out on a Friday night again (without me) and visit with others, was just more than I could stomach. Although I said nothing more about it, he sensed that I was deeply agitated. He asked me if I was alright, and initially I headed in the direction that I normally take. Avoid voicing my objections.
I quickly sorted through my silence and was unable to find a valid enough reason for withholding my feelings considering the truckload of stress I’ve been carrying around and the damage it is doing to me.
I told him “I feel like the kid who is not allowed to come into the “clubhouse” or who’s left over after the teams choose their players." "The one nobody wants”.
H was playfully sympathetic and said that he was sorry that I felt that way because he knows how that feels. He told me that I could come play in his clubhouse anytime. I said “yea sure, so long as no one else is there.” “Otherwise, I get stopped at the door and told that I can’t come in”.
He gave me a couple of warm kisses and ended up calling some of his friends instead of going to see them. I told him that there was no reason for both of us to be stuck here - to go - but he chose to stay.
The day before, as we were running errands, he told me that he still thinks about work and teared up when he said that he "really misses his friends there". (oh, if only he'd have missed me in all the time that he spent with them and away from me). Alas....
