H almost had a breakdown after I went to the doc and got the ADHD meds. The first thing out of his mouth was "I don't think you have ADHD." Thank you Dr H.
We proceeded to have an awkward conversation about it, during which I finally said I was not going to defend myself. That kind of threw him, and he said he didn't want me to. But then he said, But I'm your husband and I think I have a right to know what's going on. As if I was "doing something."
I said, calmly, do you mean I needed your permission? Well he couldn't say that. Anyway, he just kind of freaked...and he sat there and refused to talk. And I said why are you mad? Of course he WASN'T mad...he was FINE. Although he had this look in his eyes...I can't describe it. Like his life was in danger.
Anyway, I thought, he needs his teddy. So I just held his hand and we were watching Seinfeld discs and finally, I mean, come on, it was Seinfeld...he started to relax and then he was really kind of holding my hand back. And then he was fine after a while.
In the past I would have been so angry I would have avoided him the rest of the night, or we would have had a huge fight first. But I didn't get mad, I just thought, he's melting down because I am acting like an individual and this terrifies him.
Then he makes himself feel better by having me do all sorts of little tasks that make him feel like I'm "back." Fine. It's all in his head.
